


Encore

by Tupsu



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Forgiveness, Iddy Iddy Bang Bang 2015, Loyalty Kink, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mind Games, Telepathic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:00:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5038369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tupsu/pseuds/Tupsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles has decided it’s time to stop repeating the same old mistakes. He won’t let Erik into his life ever again – twice he’s allowed it, and twice he’s been left heartbroken. So when Magneto starts making the headlines again, Charles stays out of it and just watches from afar. However, his resolve is put to the test when Magneto shows up at the Manor  - and asks Charles to find out where Erik is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Iddy Symmary:  
> People reluctantly working together, people punishing themselves and feeling like they deserve whatever they get... Some hurt/comfort and a lot of talk about forgiveness (asking for it, struggling with it, and giving it) with some anger, bruises and mind control. Loyalty!Kink makes also a guest appearance.

 

_“We take a break from the usual programming to issue this warning. Everyone heading towards the Washington DC area tonight is encouraged to, if at all possible, rethink their plans. There have been break-ins to several banks in the last hour and the situation is chaotic. The police have blocked several major exits in order to box the culprits in – I repeat, it’s probably best for you if you stay away. Expect slow traffic and long queues for hours to come. You will hear from us as the story develops.”_

Charles sat still, hand resting on the book he’d been reading before the radio had switched away from the classical music to the news segment. He felt weary. His bruises from the Trask incident had barely healed and yet the world had once again a new reason to fear mutants and their unpredictable powers. The warning had been curiously vague about any details and yet been important enough to interrupt the usual evening routine – it was all Charles really needed at this point to guess that mutants were involved. Charles knew better than to hope that he was wrong. He’d been waiting for this.

 

 

 

The journey home after the events that had left Trask alive (if shaken), Erik on the run and Raven hiding somewhere, had been a quiet, miserable affair. Hank had not once tried to talk Charles out of the shell he’d retreated in, which Charles had been thankful for. He’d needed the silence, and it must’ve been the same for Hank. They’d both been so tired, bruised, only thinking as far as getting back home.

As Hank had driven them homeward, Charles hadn’t paid much attention to the scenery outside – he’d been almost blinded by the tired tears that he’d been barely able to fight back. He’d given away so much of himself only to get nothing in return. He’d once again lost Raven. He’d lost Erik. He’d fought so hard only to return home emptyhanded and doubting whether or not it had been worth it.

Everything they’d done – preventing the Sentinels program, stopping Raven from killing Trask, letting Erik out of his concrete prison and then letting him escape – was it really a victory? Could mutants be seen in a favourable light after causing so much destruction? There were only a handful of people who knew what kind of future had been prevented by their actions and for everyone else it would only look like unprovoked terrorism they were completely unprepared to stop. Charles knew that the future that they’d prevented had been bad, and that they’d done the right thing in stopping it from happening. However, the future that they were heading towards now – would it be any better?

Charles silently cursed Erik as he stared into nothingness. If he’d only listened! If he wasn’t so hell-bent on fighting against everything Charles wanted. If they could’ve just worked together – how different would’ve everything turned out?

In the end, Charles had been too tired to give into the anger. Everything that they’d gone through in the short few days after Logan had appeared seemed like something that had happened to someone else entirely, almost like he was looking at the events from a distance. He’d felt numb. It was not just his legs that had become nothing but a weigh to drag around.

They’d arrived to the silent Manor late in the evening and Charles had soon enough been alone in his room, laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He couldn’t feel his legs anymore, at all, and suddenly that had become the oddest of feelings. He’d already had years to get used to his partial paralysis before Hank had finally fixed the formula for the serum, and then he’d gotten used to the silence within his head and a pair of working legs. And now… He _was_ tempted to ask Hank to give him more of the serum, to just wipe away the last few days and pretend that life could return to what it had been before, but he knew he couldn’t.

There was no returning back to the life clouded by the serum and to a self-imposed exile within the Manor. It would be the easy way out, but Charles didn’t deserve it. Meeting Logan and stopping taking the serum had been the first steps on the road to recovery, but now that Logan was gone and one future prevented, it was up to Charles to pull it together. There was once again a need for a school that could be the safe haven for mutants that were faced with persecution, and Charles needed that haven just as much as the others. With the actions that Charles had taken, and made possible for Erik to take, Charles was to blame for the era of uncertainty that they could be soon to be facing. He couldn’t forget that. He would right the mistakes he’d made and he would help to make mutants and humans coexist peacefully. He still believed that it could be done, and it was his duty to prove it. To prove Erik wrong.

And so, a week had passed and Charles had found it in himself to go back to Cerebro again. Looking for students, he’d told himself, but it didn’t matter what excuses he’d given himself in order to dare to enter Cerebro again as immediately upon entering, he’d looked for Erik and for Raven. He had found glimpses of her, but hadn’t dared to get any closer. If Raven wanted to come back, she knew where to find him. Charles asking her to do so would only push her further away, as had been proven time after time.

Erik, on the other hand – he might’ve listened to Charles if Charles would’ve been ready to ask him to return. He wasn’t, but that didn’t matter as Erik’s mind had eluded Charles completely. Wherever he’d gone, he kept his mind shut from the world and didn’t want to be disturbed. It didn’t bode well that he was shielding his mind like this, but this was something that Charles had to accept and then push aside. Erik had made his choice.

They had left him, both of them, and maybe it was for good this time. Part of Charles really hoped that. If this was it, and neither of them never came back, he could move on. It was an ugly, raw, angry thought that caught him late at night when he found it easy to lie to himself. It was all so very unfair. Charles had rescued them. He’d been there for them when they needed it, and he hadn’t asked much in return. He’d allowed himself to care deeply for both of them and for that, he’d ended up getting hurt time after time. He didn’t want to go through all of this again. He was barely keeping it together right now, and only because he didn’t allow himself to look back and remember how good it had been. Hoping, reaching for them, trying to hold on to them as they slipped away, once again, all over again - he wouldn’t make it through it.

The thought of accidentally nudging either of their minds so that they’d realise he was looking, gave Charles nightmares. He dreamt that they were all coming back home – Raven, Erik, sometimes others, people who’d died and people who’d left for other reasons – but the dreams always turned sour and people regretted coming back. Charles had failed them. Charles hadn’t been the brother he should’ve been, the friend, the mentor… the list of his faults was ever growing longer. In the end, Charles always stood alone in the entrance hall, waiting for the tell-tale sound of a door closing to wake him up.

After the first dream, it took a few days before Charles dared to work with Cerebro again, but when he did so - to keep himself occupied - Charles looked everywhere but at Erik and Raven. He’d been assaulted by the pain of the whole world, but this time it hadn’t been personal. It was… oddly comforting. His own pain became nothing as thousands of voices screamed at him, sharing their own loses and disappointments.

And so it was that he learned of a new mutant, a presence moving in the world. Whoever they were, they left many terrified echoes in their wake but managed to hide their own mind from Charles. Why this was, cleared to Charles a few days after he’d first paid attention to this disturbance. The mutant went around, searching for others like him, bringing them to his cause and punishing those that stood in the way. In the echoes that he left after himself in the minds of those he passed, the name on their lips way was always -

The radio switched back to classical music, but Charles didn’t return to reading. He was painfully aware that Hank was looking intently at him, waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t, Hank got up from his armchair and walked to the radio, tuning to another station just to catch the tail end of a similar public warning. This time they went as far as telling that the man had called himself Magneto and that he’d threatened that what had happened today was only the beginning. Hank switched the radio off and turned around.

“This doesn’t come as a surprise to you,” Hank said. He was obviously ruffled by the fact that he hadn’t been told anything before this, but was too polite to openly display it and looked therefore uncomfortable when he confronted Charles about it now.

“I fear so,” Charles replied. He couldn’t face Hank and so he stared at the fire. Why hadn’t he said anything? He had not expected Erik to stay quiet for long. If he was gathering his Brotherhood around himself again, he had a cause to fight for and a need for soldiers. “I only knew he was gathering up other mutants.”

Hank waited a moment for Charles to continue, but when Charles didn’t say anything, he asked, “Do you still think it was wise to let him walk away after Trask?”

He’d hoped. He couldn’t have doomed Erik to his death, no, he didn’t have it in him and so he’d had to let Erik walk, but Charles had hoped that he wouldn’t have needed to defend his decision. Not this soon, anyway. “He has always made his own decisions,” Charles said. He glanced up at Hank only to see him looking disconcertingly understanding of Charles’ pain. “We are not responsible for his actions.”

Charles looked at the book in his lap and closed it after marking down the page. This was busywork for his hands that allowed him to get over the worst of the guilt. They _were_ fully responsible for breaking Erik out of prison. How much of that responsibility carried over to the actions that Erik took after he’d left them could be argued, but they were not completely innocent.

“What are we going to do?” Hank asked as the silence between them was turning uncomfortable again.

“We go ahead with opening the school. Taking the current events into consideration, we should do it extra discreetly not to draw unnecessary attention to any pupils,” Charles said. “We need to find those who are lost and lonely before he does. We need to give them a better alternative that to join in Magneto’s crusade.” Magneto _._ There was no Erik who could be talked out of doing this. Magneto was someone else entirely. It was nothing but a dichotomy to help him focus even if it didn’t really map well with reality. In reality, Erik and Magneto were the same man, capable of the same kind of determination and cruelty, and Charles was fooling himself if he thought he could forget that even for a moment.

They went on to discuss the practicalities of opening the school. There wasn’t anything complicated to it, not this time around. Charles had already started searching for mutants that they could help and take as their new students and Hank had been working to get the house back in order, ready to accommodate more people. After that, it would just be a matter of getting used to not being alone in the house anymore.

It would do Hank good, Charles thought as the man left the room to start working on an inventory of what they had and what they still needed to acquire. Charles might’ve been better company now than he’d been for – _god_ – years, but he couldn’t in good conscience allow Hank to stay here with him much longer. Someday, Hank would regret spending his life chaperoning a broken man like him and if Charles could help it, he’d find Hank a way out that he wouldn’t just stubbornly refuse out a misplaced sense of loyalty.

Charles only wished there was a way out for him as well.

It didn’t matter if he told himself that he should let go of Erik and the guilt of having known him once upon a time - he just couldn’t do it. Without Charles, Erik would still be locked underneath Pentagon, unable to cause the pain and destruction that was sure to come. It was the horrifying certainty that something was brewing in the darkness that got to Charles. It was gnawing at his core, the feeling that if he’d only… If he’d done something differently and not allowed Erik to just walk away.

 _Ah, but it had not been he who had decided to leave._ The familiar anger comforted Charles again. Erik had scared Raven away. Erik had broken his trust _again_ and walked away _again_. It was not Charles fault. He’d given that man more second chances than he’d ever deserved.

And yet, ever since he’d been told a story of a future that would not happen anymore, one where he and Erik had somehow reunited, a tugging little thought never really left Charles: What if it didn’t have to end with them walking separate paths from each other?

xXx

Some of the mutants they reached out to did show up, many didn’t.

Charles couldn’t really blame them. The world had barely been made aware of mutants and now everyone knew that the same madman that had gone for the president just months ago was back, and that he was, most certainly, a ‘mutant’. It was no wonder that those who realised that they were one of _them_ didn’t want to be associated with that kind of taint. They preferred to try and keep hidden.

The few that showed up, Charles and Hank welcomed with open arms and Charles found himself smiling when he looked at them. Some of them loved their abilities and worked hard to find new ways to use them to amuse and entertain. Others were afraid of the thing that they carried with them, needed to be coached to test their limits and that way find certainty and security in their own skin. Some of them were stronger than Charles had ever expected and he knew that they would be powerful mutants, capable of protecting themselves in time. But for now, they were young and scared and what Charles could provide them was a weird sort of a safe haven. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

However, even though Charles could turn the Manor into a safe place for them all to stay at, he couldn’t chase away a feeling of unease that had latched itself to him. The students didn’t seem to be affected by this unease, and neither did Hank, but it plagued Charles. From time to time Charles would pause and feel sure that he’d seen Raven somewhere or heard some of his students from the years past, but when he turned it was one of the new faces. He knew that he was making everyone nervous by frequently gazing off at nothing, his mind wandering far beyond the grounds of the manor, searching. These spells left Charles feeling cold, but he made sure to always smile reassuringly before excusing himself and finding his way to his office to find a moment of peace.

He ended up spending more and more time in his office as the days passed, days turning into weeks and before he’d really realised, it had been months since the Trask incident. In the beginning, Charles had needed a minute or two to calm his heart after one of the weird spells hit him, but after students had filled the hallways for almost three months the oddest of things had started to trigger a crushing sense of loneliness that would follow him for the rest of the day. Someone might laugh like Raven. Someone might resemble Erik in profile just for the briefest of moments. The stairs creaked as if someone had just run upstairs and Charles would find himself expecting it to be any of the first few souls that he thought he was saving _._

Charles had not been prepared for these ghosts and he didn’t really know why it was that they’d now come to haunt him. It was years since Raven or Erik or Havoc or Banshee or any of the students he kept seeing had actually been here, all of them now fighting in wars of their own. He’d expected it to be a bit weird to get the school up and running again – he’d seen it fail and get abandoned once already and now he was at it again with no staff besides Hank. He’d expected to feel nostalgic and a bit anxious about whether or not they could actually pull it off. He’d not expected himself to grow more and more tired with each passing day.

He could accept the fact that he missed those that he’d lost, those that he hadn’t been able to protect and that opening the school reminded him of them. Missing them was right and proper and he should be reminded of them. But to be pulled away from his new students by the sheer strength that he missed the people who’d already left? It was not alright.

Even worse, he couldn’t help stop thinking about Erik. To be missing someone who’d left him of his own will, that had hurt him time after time, someone that Charles had firmly decided to forget about… Charles had no reason to be missing Erik and definitely not so much that it distracted him from helping his students.

Erik probably didn’t think about him, Charles thought bitterly. Erik was undoubtedly blinded by his determination, never hesitating or thinking back at those he’d left behind. He had his war against the humankind to occupy his mind. There were never more than a few days before a curious incident made it to the headlines, something that Charles suspected was the doing of Erik and his new brotherhood even though it was hard to get a confirmation. There was only as much he could do with spying on the thoughts of the mutants of the world and hearing the words Magneto used when recruiting new people to his cause.

Would Erik try to talk Charles into joining some day? Or had they finally given up trying to convince the other? Charles didn’t know if he looked forward to or if he dreaded the day when Erik would show up – if he would. It was fully possible that for Erik, Charles had ceased to exist by now.

Charles smiled sadly at a reflection of himself he caught in a window. It was miserable sort of existence. Ghosts and dreams of what could have been.

Charles wished there was something he could do - just watching over the children made him feel powerless. However, without getting a chance to read Erik’s mind, he didn’t have a clue what Erik was working towards. So he waited and while he waited he gathered the lost children to himself, hiding them and himself from the world.

xXx

Autumn had started to turn into winter. The first shroud of snow couldn’t be far off and Charles could already imagine how it would look as the last of the colours in the trees disappeared. The path leading up to the gates was already grey in the cloudy afternoon light and the gates further in the distance stood blacker and sharper than they’d been in the summer. Charles looked at the scenery, trying not think about anything specific.

It had been a restless day for him. He’d been on edge right from the morning. When Hank had come to ask simple and mundane questions about the day to day life, he’d answered curtly and probably sounded ungrateful for the work Hank put in what was supposed to be Charles’ project and Charles’ school. Charles didn’t really know why that had been – he must’ve dreamt about something that had made him upset even though he couldn’t remember the dream - and so he’d thought it better to isolate himself until the worst of it passed.

He could still hear the sounds of the student outside in the hallway, talking loudly as they were excused from their class. Hank had done a magnificent job at keeping it all together when Charles had started to struggle with being a professor and asked Hank to hold more and more of the classes, and then failed to find them new teachers to make it easier for both of them. He would reach out to people that had worked with him in the past. He would do it any day now. Charles had told that to himself for weeks now, but with the few students and tireless Hank, there had never been an urgency to do it.

Charles looked at his reflection in the window. He looked tired, but the sad thing was that he did recognise himself. He had allowed himself to sink back into the apathy that had swallowed so many years of his life already. He grimaced. There was a fight to be fought now – children to teach, world to save but without the same kind of urgency as before. He just had to keep fighting.

Charles turned to leave the room. The least he could do to thank Hank for his efforts was to watch over the kids for an hour or two in the afternoon so that Hank could get a moment of rest. Determined to fight the unease for those few hours at least, Charles made his way all the way to the door before he looked over his shoulder quickly for one last glance at the world outside.

The tranquillity that he’d managed to blanket himself in evaporated immediately. He didn’t have a good view at the gates anymore, but he didn’t really need all that much to recognise the man walking down the road.

Erik. Erik was here, out there, right now.

The anger burned bright again, the earlier melancholy firmly pushed aside. Charles stared as Erik walked closer, past the first trees and then further so that Charles couldn’t see him anymore from the window. He was wearing his helmet and a cape – suited up to make an entrance - and that didn’t bode anything good.

With the anger giving him new energy, Charles opened the door and headed down the hallway as fast as he could. He needed to stop Erik before he got close enough to spook the students. A quick touch to his temple, a mental message to Hank to ‘ _keep everyone inside’_ and Charles was already almost at the main doors. He wished now that he wasn’t confined to his wheelchair. There were days when he really didn’t think about it, but now he hated the fact that he couldn’t just barge through the doors and run.

The outer doors closed behind him with an audible sound. Charles was still for a moment, looking at Erik walking calmly towards him. Charles could already feel the nervousness radiating from the Manor – too many windows, someone must’ve seen Erik walking towards the house – and the anger that had been sparked by just having seen Erik from the window was only burning hotter. Why was Erik here? Why was he wearing his helmet? What did he want? Had he finally come to try to recruit him for this new crusade? He’d better not think about getting to the students.

“Erik,” Charles called as he stopped. He hadn’t gotten all that far down the road, but it felt futile to keep going any further. Erik wouldn’t be able to make it to the doors without passing him, but it was mostly a symbolic gesture. They were clearly visible from the manor; it had been a foolish thought to think that he might protect his students from this. “What do you want?”

Erik didn’t reply.

“What makes you think that you can just waltz in here like nothing has happened?” Charles called. “What makes you think you are welcome?” His grip on the wheels of his wheelchair grew tighter. He’d been through enough misery in his life. He didn’t owe Erik anything anymore. This time he _would_ turn Erik away. “You’ve walked away too many times to come back like this.”

Erik walked closer still, but something made Charles hesitate. Erik walked usually with longer strides, ready to conquer the whole world. Had he hurt himself? Was he looking for sanctuary? No, no, there was something wrong. Something else. As Charles stared at Erik who was walking closer, a sort of glimmer appeared around him. It flickered and Charles grew unsure.

“Erik?”

As Erik stepped one more step closer, Charles realised that it… was not him. It couldn’t be, no, it had to be Erik, but… Something with him was all wrong. Charles pressed two fingers against his temple and tried to focus. There was something radiating from Erik, a presence that he didn’t recognise. Was it possible someone else was controlling him? As Charles tentatively tried to use his powers, he was quickly cut short. Erik’s helmet was keeping him out. However, as he let go and looked at Erik, the earlier glimmer was back and it was stronger this time. It was almost like the image of Erik rippled in the air.

“Erik, answer me,” Charles said. “What are you doing here?”

Erik was now ten feet away and showed no signs of stopping, but Charles’ words did make him smile for a moment. The smile was completely foreign. It was too soft. Smug. Erik knew how to gloat but he never let go of his righteousness so seeing him looking this smug felt wrong. Erik was not happy like this about having succeeded in his plans – he wore even his victories with sadness.

At that moment the image of Erik rippled like water and the image dissolved. The man that stood right in front of Charles was not Erik. He wore Erik’s helmet, but his face was different. Something that he did that made it difficult to understand what he really looked like, but Charles was now sure that he was not Erik. It was not like it was with Raven, changing skins, no, this man had just looked like Erik on the surface and now that Charles had seen through the image, he could almost glimpse at what lay underneath.

“Who are you?” Charles asked and pushed himself further away to get some distance between the two of them. He was now very aware of how frail he was. If he couldn’t penetrate the helmet and tell the man to stop, there was not much he could do to protect himself.

For the moment, the man seemed to be interested in talking. “My name is Alexander,” he said. His voice was lighter than Erik’s, but from moment to moment Charles saw his image flicker back to Erik. It was a disturbing sight to look at.

“Why do you look like-“ Charles asked, but was interrupted by the man.

“You’re the first one to fight through it,” Alexander said, sounding impressed. “It’s an image that-” he paused for a smile, “Suits me and my purposes.”

“Where’s Erik?” Charles asked.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Alexander said. “He’s been very difficult to find. I was hoping that you could help me out with drawing him out of his hideout.”

“Why do you want to find him?” Charles asked. “And what makes you think that I can help you?”

“I’m just looking forward to bringing our kind together,” Alexander said. “As to how you can help me; I know you are a telepath and as you’ve demonstrated several times now, you know of Erik,” Alexander said. Erik’s name sounded all wrong coming from his mouth. He seemed to think there was something strange with the name – like it didn’t belong Erik. “She said that you would have the power to find me Magneto’s current location.”

Charles knew that Alexander baited him now, but he couldn’t help but to bite. “She?”

“I think she too would like to be found by you,” Alexander said and smiled. Charles mind was filled with all the irrelevant questions that he’d tried not to think about. Was Raven alright? Did she want to come home? She had to know that she was welcome. Maybe she doubted that. Why hadn’t he tried to look for her again? “If you help me find where Magneto is, I’ll help you find her.”

“If she told how to find me, why didn’t she come with you?” Charles asked. He hated thinking that Raven had stayed somewhere, alone.

“She wasn’t sure what kind of welcome she would get,” Alexander replied. “We can go get her together. But only after you help me find Magneto.”

“I can’t,” Charles said. He wanted to. He hadn’t found Erik when he’d looked for him and he shouldn’t… He didn’t want to bring Erik back. He didn’t want to bring the war that Erik was preparing for here. It only ended up in more heartache for him. It was selfish, so selfish of him. Alexander wanted to bring them all together. Wasn’t that something that Charles also hoped?

“I can’t find him. I- Why do you want to find Magneto anyway?” The question was a cold wakeup. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong, but Charles couldn’t say what had made him alarmed.

“Magneto is the strongest of us, isn’t he?” Alexander said. “He’ll fight for our kind.”

“Why impersonate him? Why take his image? Why take his name?” Alexander didn’t have a noticeable reaction to the barrage of questions, his smile stayed steady and he didn’t interrupt Charles. But when Charles quieted down, he lifted one hand and Charles grew unsure. “I-“, Charles said, but couldn’t remember what he’d thought about. He massaged his temple, fighting the headache that he knew was coming. He wanted to call for Hank and to tell him to come out here to help him, but no, no, there was no reason to alarm Hank.

“I know you can find him,” Alexander said. “Find him for me.”

“No,” Charles said. “I don’t want to find him.”

“How much is it going to take before you do?” Alexander asked. The pleasantry was gone and the question was a calculated one. “I can make you rethink your decision.”

Charles felt thoroughly uncomfortable now. He knew that Alexander was doing something, because without wanting to Charles was trying to find Erik. No, that wasn’t right. He did want to find Erik. He’d been curious about where Erik had gone and it would help him get some peace of mind if he knew the answer. He could hear the voices of his students, of people traveling on the road a mile or so from the manor, he was pushing at the edges of his natural telepathic range. It hurt, but he _wanted_ to find Erik- “Stop it,” Charles said, the words difficult to get out. He leaned forward, holding his head in his hands. “Please stop it. Stop it. ” Erik’s not here. I cannot find him. Erik’s not here not here, Erik’s-

Erik’s here.

The pressure disappeared and Charles could look up to see Alexander smiling at him. “Did you find him?” he asked. “Where is he?”

Charles didn’t say anything. He wanted to, but he also knew that he wasn’t doing this out of his free will. He tried to understand how Alexander had a hold of him, but despite year and years of practise with telepathy, he couldn’t look at himself with the same clarity that he could sometimes read others.

“Tell me,” Alexander said.

“He’s… here,” Charles replied and an odd sort of relief washed through him. He’d given Alexander what he’d hoped, but there was more to it than that. Erik was here. Erik was-

The thought didn’t make any sense. Charles allowed his mind to search for Erik again and this time he found him, a mind so familiar that when he touched it he flinched away from it like he’d been burned. Charles tore his eyes away from Alexander and looked at the gates of the Manor. And as he watched, Erik walked past the gates with determined strides, heading straight towards them.

Alexander turned around to see what had caught Charles attention and smiled as he did so. “Ah, even better,” he said.

Charles’ heart was beating hard now. When Charles had first seen Erik through his window – before he’d found out that it was Alexander – he’d been angry to see Erik return, but now, Charles realised, he felt relieved to see Erik.

But whereas Charles had lost his anger, Erik looked furious.

Before any of them had said a word, Erik made a sweeping movement with his hand and Alexander was thrown of his feet. Erik wasn’t done with that. He pulled Alexander up by whatever metal his clothes had and dangled him in the air.

“This worked better than I expected,” Alexander said. He looked way too pleased to be the man who was currently dangling a feet or so from the ground.

“What do you want?” Erik demanded. This was Erik, this was truly Erik – the sound of his voice gave Charles cold shivers. Erik stared at Alexander, trying to clearly to understand him. It must’ve been doubly distracting for him to see someone wearing his image like a costume. “I got your message. _Why_ do you wear my name and face?” Erik demanded, his hold on the man growing tighter.

“I needed some way to get your attention,” Alexander said. “It’s time that the two of us met.”

“What do you want?” Erik repeated himself, sounding throughoutly pissed.

“An alliance,” Alexander said. “If you let go of me, we can talk about it.”

Erik released his hold and just stared as Alexander readjusted his clothes. He hadn’t even glanced at Charles yet, and Charles realised he felt almost insulted by it. This was still _his_ home both of them were invading with their presence.

“Then talk,” Erik said.

Charles watched as Alexander straightened himself up and dropped the image of Erik finally. It was like the world had suddenly became sharper. Alexander, in his borrowed clothes and personality, wasn’t anything like Erik and it was truly a miracle that Charles had been mistaken in the first place. Charles glanced at Erik in order to compare the two of them. Of the two of them, Erik’s presence was the one that took over. It was interesting - Erik looked worn down whereas Alexander had polished his image to the point where it almost shimmered, and yet, Erik was the one who looked powerful and Alexander the one who was envious of that power, angling at ways to get hold of it.

But after he’d allowed himself to look, Charles couldn’t care less about Alexander. What had left Erik looking so worn? What had he been up to the last months? Why was _he_ here?

“My name is Alexander, and I feel the same way as you do about humans,” Alexander started. “I was rather inspired by the speech you gave.”

Erik looked reserved, but didn’t stop Alexander.

“I think we could work together and achieve great things,” Alexander continued. “Our gifts are to be used, just as you said. I want to be part of your brotherhood.”

Erik turned his head and looked at Charles then. Charles wasn’t sure what Erik saw in him, but he couldn’t help but notice a momentary unease, uncertainty, crossing Erik’s expression. Before Charles could really figure out what that had meant, Erik had turned his head again and was watching Alexander again, who, as Charles followed Erik’s gaze, looked less than confident for the first time.

“I’m not recruiting right now,” Erik said.

“Why?” Alexander asked immediately. “We need to fight. We won’t be stopped if we work together. My power will make sure of that.”

“I said I’m not interested right now,” Erik repeated, voice showing some strain.

Charles watched with growing unease. “Erik, you need to watch out. He’s has a mutation that allows him to control minds somehow-” Charles said, but stopped when Erik turned to look at him.

It was then that he realised it. Erik was just as he’d always been. He was not here to rescue Charles even though for a moment Charles had fooled himself he had. No, he was here for selfish reasons. He was annoyed that someone had taken his name. He was annoyed, but he was also curious. Charles’ warning had gone to deaf ears. For Erik, finding someone else with powers like Charles’ was a blessing. He would no longer need Charles. He would no longer need to listen to him. Charles wouldn’t be able to stop him like he’d done last time anymore-

“Charles?” Erik asked. What did he expect Charles to say? When Charles said nothing – he couldn’t, it hurt too much, Erik would betray him again. That’s what Erik did – Erik turned to look at Alexander and he lifted his arm again.

“Ah, don’t make a hasty decision,” Alexander said. “We could achieve much together.”

“What are you doing to Charles?” Erik demanded, but didn’t wait for the answer before once again drawing on the metal, forcing Alexander to tiptoe.

“What you should’ve done long ago,” Alexander said. He reached out to touch Erik’s hand. The moment he did so, Erik grip on him loosened. They both turned to look at Charles and Erik’s eyes grew dark and Charles knew that things were about to turn ugly. He tried to move backwards, but the wheelchair struggled on the gravel and he’d hardly moved when Alexander continued, his voice now soft and charming even when his words turned Charles cold. “I’m getting rid of him,” Alexander said. His hold of Erik’s arm grew visibly tighter. “He’s the reason you failed, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he be punished for that?”

Erik moved his hand and made a small brushing movement with his hand. Immediately, the wheelchair under Charles broke into small pieces and Charles fell. He managed to get his arm up to shield his head before he hit the ground awkwardly, but there was nothing he could do with his legs that hit the ground at an odd angle. The gravel bit into Charles skin, drawing blood at places. Charles didn’t have the luxury to inspect his bruises; he rolled on his back – his legs staying twisted as they’d landed – only to see Erik working together the metal that had been Charles wheelchair just a moment ago.

“Erik, no!” Charles cried and struggled to get around so that he could see Erik. “Don’t listen to him, Erik!”

Erik stared at Charles, sad determination taking over him. There was something holding him back, Charles could see it so very clearly, but he didn’t know how to reach it. Erik could turn all the metal into projectiles so easily, any moment, and they would tear Charles apart, but Erik stood still. Waiting.

“It was so easy,” Alexander said. He was speaking directly to Charles now and there was a hint of astonishment to his tone. “He really does want to hurt you.”

“What is that you want?”

“I needed to find Magneto to know whether or not he is worth keeping around,” Alexander said and smiled. “I regret that it had to come to this, but I hope that he can rethink my offer of teaming up once he’s taken care of obstacles standing in the way.” The tone of his voice didn’t leave any room for guessing what he’d meant.

Alexander looked at Erik and smiled proudly, but Erik didn’t turn to look at him – his eyes were glued on Charles – and then he just turned around and started walking away. Charles let a sound of frustration. There was nothing he could do to stop Alexander from just leaving like this. Without the wheelchair Charles was immobilised and while Alexander wore the helmet, Charles couldn’t use his powers on the man either.

Charles looked up at Erik only to see him close his eyes in anticipation, and then Charles couldn’t see anything else besides the hand that Erik slowly moved, getting ready to bring down all the metallic projectiles that were hovering above Charles.

Alexander turned around and took a few steps backwards. Charles dared a quick glance at his direction. “You are free to join my cause as well, of course, if you happen to survive. This telepathy of yours is very impressive. You might even be able to use it to get him to stop,” he said with a smile and then continued walking away.

Charles looked back at Erik just as the first shard of metal hit down, grazing his arm and then there was no room to think. Charles had vowed never to enter Erik’s mind again and he had no intention to break that promise, but he still found himself pushing against Erik’s mental barriers, tearing at them until they crumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Even though Erik knew what Charles could do with his powers and how easily, he was unprepared when Charles pushed against his mind. It was like being hit by a freight train. He couldn’t do anything to stop it. Every thought he’d had got incinerated into white hot blinding pain and all he could see and hear was Charles’ voice telling him to STOP. He couldn’t breathe or control himself any longer. He was barely aware of the world around himself as he fell down onto his knees, all power fleeing his limbs.

He might’ve cried out. He didn’t know anymore. Time and space were all mixed up, as were what he felt and what was happening to him. There was nothing but the burning pain and the simple thought – Stop. _Stop. Stop-please-stop –_ that went on and on _._ Charles screaming inside his head, Charles who’d used to be so gentle when he tapped on his thoughts was now pounding at the walls of Erik’s mind, tearing down everything he could find, turning everything into aching silence in an attempt to-

_stop him_

Charles was crying in pain, and Erik could _feel_ his pain now.

_stop him from_

And then clarity hit him and he gasped.

 _You tried to kill Charles. You_ **wanted** _to kill Charles._

“I didn’t mean to,” Erik said in a weak attempt to silence the thoughts. Charles was gone from his mind now and Erik could see again. He looked at Charles, laying there on the ground in front of him, body all twisted, blood trickling from a cut on his forehead, the ground around him littered with shining pieces of metal. Charles stared straight forward, eyes almost unseeing, grimacing in pain.

 _He’d done this_. Erik tried to gasp for air, but he couldn’t. It was like he’d had been hit in the stomach and had all the air chased out of him even though no-one had laid a hand on him. He could remember vibrantly how he’d already mourned for Charles for he had been so certain that he had to kill him. He hadn’t had an alternative. Charles had been in the way. Charles had fought him like he always did, but this time Erik had wanted to push him aside, had - Erik had tried to protect the mutants. He hadn’t had an alternative. His hand had been forced. He’d- He remembered breaking the wheelchair – _which he’d bound Charles to_ – in to pieces, turning those pieces into shards he had used to pierce Charles body, drawing blood, pinning him onto the ground, killing him.

 _No._ Erik tried to reassemble his thoughts that were still hard to control, scattered and unconnected. Charles had forced him to stop in time to prevent him from finishing it, that much was certain. Erik couldn’t really piece together how he’d ended up raising his hand against Charles – it was like there was a moment missing, when the decision had been made that had led him there – but even without that piece, Erik knew it had been him and he felt nauseous knowing that he could’ve done all that. It was not the first time he’d hurt Charles with his powers either, but this time Charles hadn’t just been a civilian casualty, hurting him an accident.

Erik allowed his head to drop. “I would never,” he muttered but couldn’t even finish the sentence. He had fully intended.

Erik waited until the world stood still again before he looked up, hoping to see Charles looking at him, seeing him, but as he lifted his head, a blue mass crashed into him, making him hit the ground hard. Before he had time to react, he was lifted from the ground again and thrown away. He hit the ground back first, letting a pitiful gasp of pain as he did so. At first he didn’t know if he was in one piece, but then the feeling came back to his body and he knew that even though he was bleeding, it was nothing major; scratches along his arms where the gravel had torn through the fabric.

“How dare you!” Hank growled and moved closer, fists clenched.

Erik allowed his head to fall back on the ground. Hank would tear him apart for hurting Charles, and Erik wasn’t sure he could do anything to stop him from doing that. He couldn’t call the surrounding metal to himself, he was too weak – the echoing _stop_ had still not completely left him – and trying to get up right now would only make Hank attack faster. Erik turned his head so that he could see Hank hesitating between Charles and him. Hank took a new step towards Erik, fists now unclenching, but then Charles reached out with an arm.

“Hank, don’t,” Charles said. He winced after he’d spoken and Erik grew cold inside. How badly had he hurt Charles? He remembered the pain Charles had shared as he’d shut him down, but he’d been so disoriented by everything that he couldn’t really say how bad the pain had been.

Hank immediately crouched on the ground next to Charles and fussed over him. He found something that made him grimace angrily and turn to look at Erik again – and Erik just waited for him to jump at him and finish what he’d started right there and then. And yet again, Charles stopped Hank. This time Charles wrapped his hand tightly around Hanks arm and physically held him by his side.

“Hank, there was someone else,“ Charles said before he paused, bit his lip and closed his eyes in obvious pain. “He’s probably long gone by now, but I need you to make sure he’s truly gone. Erik isn’t a danger right now.“

“Where?” Hank asked.

Charles pointed and then Hank was on his way towards the gates, moving fast on all fours. Erik watched him go, but he couldn’t see Alexander anywhere. How the man had gotten away so fast, Erik had no idea.

As Hank reached the gates, Erik gathered himself of the ground. Nothing seemed to be broken. He went methodically through what he felt as he got to his feet in order to avoid acknowledging the look that Charles was now giving him. No broken bones. Bruises and a few relatively shallow cuts to his skin. He’d live. When he was up on his feet again, he slowly and carefully turned to look at Charles.

Charles was leaning to one arm and was trying to push himself up with the other. He was looking intently at Erik, but his expression betrayed nothing more than that he’d been hurt. He was unsuccessful in his attempt to get up – halfway up he winced and took hold of his side. Erik saw something had cut through shirt and skin and Charles hand came back red with blood.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Erik said.

Charles gave him a cold look. “Yet you did,” he replied. “Every time you come back, you end up hurting me. Why’s that?”

“You can’t blame me for this!”

“He seemed surprised that he could make you do all this,” Charles said and in his tone Erik could hear the accusation. _Some part of Erik had consented to this._ And yet, even Charles acknowledged that Erik hadn’t been in complete control.

“That’s unfair,” Erik said.

Charles shook his head to tell he wasn’t interested in arguing with him about this. “Why are you here?” he asked instead. “I know why Alexander found his way here, but I don’t know why you came.”

“I came to ask your help in finding him,” Erik said.

Charles scoffed. “Funny. That’s exactly the reason he gave me for showing up here. You two are more alike than just the surface. I’m surprised you didn’t want to work with him.” Cold, harsh words said in a biting tone.

Before Erik could say anything in his defence, he could hear Hank returning. He turned around and took a step backwards to get out of the way. Hank went directly to Charles and kneeled down next to him again. He eyed Erik with suspicion, but since neither of them presented an immediate danger for the other, Hank turned his whole attention back to Charles and shook his head. “He’s gone.”

“There must’ve been someone out there to help him. Or he has a secondary mutation that we don’t know about,” Charles said. He sighed. More exhaustion than pain this time in his voice. “I don’t think he will be back. Not immediately, anyway. Hank, if you could?”

“Let me,” Erik said, taking a step towards Charles. His words made Hank stop and look up with complete disbelief in his eyes. “Someone needs to help Charles back to the house. And someone else needs to explain what happened. I don’t think that’ll be anything where I’ll be of use.”

Erik’s words made both Hank and Charles turn to look towards the Manor. A few people had dared to step outside, but hesitated at the door. Erik didn’t know any of them. Hank looked ready to protest, but Charles silenced him with a little shake of his head. This wasn’t a battle worth fighting for. “Go to the students and make sure they feel safe. We can talk after that’s done.”

“Why do you trust him?” Hank demanded. He turned to look at Erik again, still clearly itching to do something about him. But whether Hank liked it or not, Charles had already vouched for him.

“I don’t,” Charles replied. He gave Hank a meaningful look and nodded his head. It was likely more words had been changed via telepathy since Hank nodded like they’d reached an agreement and then left for the house.

“You can read my mind to know that I mean no harm,” Erik said.

“I’m not going to do it ever again. I’ve said this before. The days when I want to hear your thoughts are over,” Charles said. “My hand was forced just now. I’d rather not hear again how much you’d like to kill me.”

“Fine,” Erik said. He took a step closer and crouched down. They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them backing down one inch. Charles was still laying on the ground, a line of blood slowly drying on his brow and cheek, but there was a strength to him that Erik respected. “I’m going to carry you in whether you like it or not. And then we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t. That ship has already sailed. We’ve already said goodbye and at least I meant it,” Charles said, then closed his eyes and winced as Erik reached to get his arms around him. Erik tried not to think too hard about how Charles’ legs were completely limp in his arms. _You’ve hurt Charles before. Why was this time any different?_ Charles didn’t weigh too much. Had he grown thinner since the last they met?

Hank ushered the students in before Erik and Charles reached the door. The last to disappear inside was a girl with red hair and something in the way she turned to take one last glance over her shoulder reminded Erik of Raven, like she’d been when they all trained here. “You’ve started gathering new children to lecture for.”

“Don’t even think about corrupting any of them,” Charles said, words sharp. Erik looked down only to be met with a glare; Charles had clearly decided to be annoyed at him. It was of no use to tell Charles that he hadn’t corrupted anyone. Raven and the others had followed him out of their free will. This, however, was a conversation that they’d had before and one that never led anywhere.

Erik knew the way to Charles’ room, but as he walked towards the stairs, Charles spoke.

“I’ve relocated to the ground floor. Third door from right,” Charles said. “We haven’t actually gotten around to fixing a way for me to take myself up the stairs.”

Erik knew not to say anything.

There weren’t many children in the house, not that Erik could see, but the few that he saw trying to get a peek of them from doorframes and across the hallways looked scared and pitiful. All of them drew back when Erik looked at them; they were afraid of him. He’d gotten used to humans being afraid of him, but seeing mutants covering in fear for whatever reason, and children at that, made him uncomfortable.

Erik found the right door and placed Charles on his bed before withdrawing a respectable distance. He didn’t want to leave the room; he had nowhere to go and he was unsure about his welcome. Charles said nothing at first. He spent some time readjusting himself on the bed, helping himself into a sitting position against the headboard and moving his feet so that they looked natural. He then brushed his hand against his temple and inspected the dried blood that came off before feeling the bloodstained area just below his ribs.

Erik changed his weight from one leg to the other. He glanced quickly at the door. Hank would interrupt them any moment now, and there were many things that Erik wanted to say without having anyone else listening in on them. However, even though he knew he had just a moment now, words eluded him.

What was he supposed to do in a situation like this? His plan had been to keep his distance and ask Charles to help him locate the copycat, and then be on his way. He hadn’t expected a warm welcome and he hadn’t even dared to ask for one. After Trask… he was uncertain where the two of them stood. If it hadn’t been for Charles being his best bet at locating the copycat, Erik would’ve found another way to deal with the situation, one that would allow him and Charles to keep at a distance. However, his plan to keep things simple and impersonal had fallen apart the moment he’d seen Alexander. Now, he was left in this uncomfortable limbo between being accepted and pushed away.

“How bad is it?” he asked in the end.

Charles looked up at him. “I’ll survive. I got lucky.”

Erik nodded, relieved. Charles wouldn’t let him close enough to check the damage himself, but it probably wasn’t life threatening. “I can help you catch him,” Erik then offered. It was the least he could do, and possible the only thing that Charles would accept from him. Erik knew he had not been forgiven for going after Raven, not forgiven for acting on his own, not forgiven for things far in the past now… And yet, he felt oddly hopeful now, standing here in Charles’ room. He had been let into the house and Charles was obviously listening to him. If this continued, he might even get to mend some bridges before he would be on his way again. Because try as he might, he couldn’t imagine Charles allowing him to actually stay at his side.

A moment passed in silence and they studied each other. Charles seemed to be trying out how serious Erik had been with his offer, or maybe he was calculating the risk of actually accepting it. All Erik could think about was that he wanted Charles to accept it, wanted it more than he’d expected when he’d offered.

“Who is he?” Charles asked after a while instead of giving an answer to Erik’s offer.

Erik shook his head. “I don’t know anything about him.”

A nod, a silence, followed by a new question, a more personal one this time. “Where have you been?”

Erik smiled. “You care,” he said without pausing to think about it. Every word exchanged warmed his heart. It had to be a side-effect of being here. It brought memories back. Reminded him of times when things between the two of them had been easier even though everything else had been clouded in anger and desperation.

“Of course I do care!” Charles snapped and Erik felt his smile die. Even though Charles had been willing to talk to him, his anger was still brewing right below the surface and had now given Charles a reason to raise his voice. He looked upset; the skin around his eyes was turning red like he was fighting back tears. “I broke you out from a prison where you belonged. Then I let you go because despite everything you’ve done I don’t think you deserve to die. For my weakness I’ve paid with having to listen to you going around, terrorising mutants until they believe in your cause, finding children who are afraid of being like _you_. A mutant. You have no idea how many think that being a mutant doesn’t give them any other alternatives than to become feared and hunted. And you wonder if I care about where you went and what you’ve been up to?”

“You can’t blame me for what that man has done! I came here to stop him when I found out that he was using my name,” Erik said.

“You’d done enough damage before Alexander came into the picture,” Charles said.

“How could you even think that it was me?” Erik asked even though he did know the answer that Charles was going to give.

“There wasn’t really a reason not to, was there?”

Erik knew enough of that man’s – Alexander’s – actions to know not to step up to that challenge. Erik had been annoyed to hear someone taking his name, but he had not hated his actions. Alexander had fought for the cause that Erik lived for; if today’s meeting had not turned sour Erik might’ve even considered working with the man. The look that Charles was giving him made it clear that Charles understood that as well.

“I’m not going to apologize for what I’ve done to protect us,” Erik said, placing a hand on Charles shoulder which Charles promptly drew away. “I am sorry for how things ended up, though.”

“Don’t,” Charles said and closed his eyes. He hid his face with the hand he used to massage his temple. “Erik… I can’t go through this again. The only reason I agreed to get you out of Pentagon was because Logan told me that somehow in the future we both agreed on it.”

“Can’t this be the beginning of that future?” The moment the words were said, Erik hated them. They were sentimental and weak and above all else, pointless. Charles wasn’t going to be swayed with Erik trying to apply to his emotions.

Charles shook his head and smiled a sad smile, which made Erik move further away in an attempt to escape the situation. A moment ago, he wouldn’t have thought he’d be thankful to hear Hank knock on the door, but when it happened at that exact moment, he was. Hank didn’t wait for an invitation before opening the door first slightly and then all the way when he saw the intrusion was welcome. Erik took the moment to walk away from the bed and leaned to a wall across from it where he was out of the way.

Hank placed a pile of cotton pads and a bottle of disinfectant along with some bandages onto the bed. Erik had a momentary impulse to tell Hank to leave so that he could take care of Charles’ wounds himself, but he knew better, and before he could’ve even made the mistake to offer, Charles spoke. “Your room is still empty,” Charles said without looking at Erik. He’d closed his eyes and Hank reached out to wash the cut on his temple. It was shallow, but Erik struggled to look away from it. It took him a moment to understand what Charles had said. “It’s better if you’d limit your contact with the students. For them you are the man that tried to kill people on live television.”

Once again the implications were clear - he was not to feel welcome but Charles wasn’t the kind of a man who threw people out on the street. Erik nodded and made his retreat. This fight would have to be continued later, and it was a fight he was fully intended to take on. He had not come here to rebuild bridges, but now it was the only thing he could think about.

xXx

“I don’t like the fact he’s here,” Hank said as he worked through Charles cuts. “Having him here makes everyone agitated. And what about the other man? The one who got away?”

“He called himself Alexander,” Charles said. He flashed a small smile as thanks as Hank withdrew and collected the supplies he’d brought with himself. The cut he had to his side was nasty, but properly bandaged now, and the rest of the cuts ached and smarted but wouldn’t cause too much trouble. “I don’t know much about him. He seemed to be some sort of telepath, and a strong one. He managed to overpower me easily. He’s been impersonating Magneto.”

Hank looked worried. “That… explains some things. But it was still Magneto who attacked you today, wasn’t it?”

Charles had to nod. “There was something Alexander did, something that messes up with the mind. I could feel him doing the same for me.” He paused to think. It was hard to say when he’d been affected by Alexander’s powers, but there were distinct moments when he’d acted without really thinking, and times when he’d been unusually agitated. He couldn’t get his head around Alexander’s power or even the man itself. What had he been playing at? He had wanted to find Magneto, and he had found a way to do that in Charles. But why had he made Erik attack? Why nudge Charles towards fighting back?

The pain that Charles had found within Erik’s mind been a horrible sight to see. Just thinking back at it made Charles feel worried. There hadn’t been a doubt in Erik’s mind – he had been about to kill Charles. Charles liked to think that Erik wouldn’t want to do that out of his free will, but what he’d seen in Erik’s mind hadn’t really given him an explanation as to how Alexander had gotten him to do it. He hadn’t been searching for Alexander in Erik’s mind – he could’ve missed obvious signs in his panic and desperation to save his life.

Charles realised he’d fallen deep in thought when he noticed Hank staring him with a wrinkled brow. “I don’t think Erik’s going to attack me again,” Charles said to put Hank at ease, but his words didn’t have the effect he’d hoped.

“What about this Alexander? How are we going to defend ourselves from him?”

Charles looked out of the window. “Not just him,” he replied. “There are bound to be others like Alexander in the future. Now that mutants everywhere know that they are not alone, more of them will dream of bringing us together. Some are bound to take the path that leads to violence. Magneto has given them a cause to fight for.”

“And what can we do about that?”

“It’s obvious that they cannot be fought without mutant powers,” Charles said. “We need the X-Men. We need to have a strike force that can fight against people like Alexander.” And Magneto, his ever so helpful mind supplied.

Charles had tried this before and it had ended up with him burning his fingers, but the current events were forcing his hand. The mutants needed someone they could look up to, an alternative to those that thought having powers gave them the right to rule. Mutants needed heroes. Charles didn’t especially want this responsibility, but he didn’t have the right to back away from it either. He’d helped to cause the current situation. He might be the only one even able to handle an operation like X-Men thanks to his telepathy and the Cerebro.

Hank nodded gravely. He’d been there before. “We can always start by reaching out to those we’ve worked with in the past. What about Magneto?”

“What about him?”

“Are you willing to work with him again?”

The immediate answer that Charles wanted to give was a firm no. Erik had no reason to stay here. Charles wasn’t sure why he’d even come this time, but there wouldn’t be anything that would make him linger. Charles would make sure about that. At the same time, he found himself hesitating. He knew better. He knew that he would only get hurt – and so would many others – if he’d allow Erik to stay around. And yet, the moment that Erik had lifted him up from the ground, Charles had only thought of him. Talking to Erik had been pure agony. He’d wanted to yell and tell Erik just how much he hated him for walking away againand worse, _coming back_ , but if he’d allowed room for all the mixed up feelings he felt, Erik might’ve realised that Charles had been missing him. And that, Charles couldn’t even justify for himself let alone allow someone else to hear.

Hank turned to go, but Charles reached out and stopped him with a touch on the arm. “There’s something else,” he said. “I don’t know if it is true, but Alexander spoke of Raven. I don’t know if he has her, but I want to try finding her. It’s time for her to come home. After we’ve done that, we can start working towards rebuilding the X-men.”

When Hank was gone, Charles closed his eyes and leaned to the headboard. He was going to be fine, but without his wheelchair his ability to move around was very limited. He should’ve probably asked Hank to move him to the sitting room, but that would’ve forced him to meet the questions of all the children. He would have to deal with their worries, but that could come later. Right now he had enough to think about.

Erik was here. Charles felt tears stinging in his eyes. He was too angry to cry, but the bottled up anger that he’d carried with him without having any release for it made his heart feel heavy and breathing hard. He should’ve been able to turn Erik away the moment he saw him. He should not have allowed him to carry him in and slither back into his life. He had fought against letting Erik close when he had been Alexander in disguise, but the moment he’d been face to face with the real Erik his resolve had crumbled.

Nothing had changed. Erik was still the man who had left Charles alone on the beach and taken away Raven. Erik had stolen Raven from him, and then Erik had failed to protect her. Erik was still the man who had lorded his righteous war over Charles every opportunity that he got. The man who had tried to _kill_ Raven when he thought that her life might put Erik’s in danger. The man who could easily have killed Charles over and over again with his actions and come so close to it so many times.

There was no reason for Charles to forgive Erik and yet he _hoped_ that someday he would be able to do just so _._

The thought burned. It was a pain that lodged itself tightly next to Charles’ heart. He was still the same man that he had always been. Erik had not changed; he hadn’t even promised to. He hadn’t even apologised! Charles body was now battered and broken now as a result of the time they’d spent together and yet he still carried the same mind, the same soul, the same heart within himself as he had the day the two of them had first met. Everything should’ve been different now, his mind cold and cautious, his soul scarred and cynical, and his heart finally still.

And yet, it wasn’t so. Not when it came to Erik.

Maybe they had hurt each other enough by now and Erik wouldn’t even ask to stay. There was nothing to prevent everything ending in a disaster yet again and they had to both know it. There was nothing to reassure Charles, no sign that anything was for the better. He wasn’t even fooling himself that there was; some part of him wanted to keep holding onto Erik despite the pain he would soon be causing.

Charles hated the fact that he was willing to let Erik rip his heart out again and again.

xXx

Charles watched the afternoon grow into an uneasy evening. Even behind closed doors, Charles couldn’t shut out the minds of the others. The whole house was on edge and after few hours of the buzzing at the edges of his mind, Charles couldn’t take it anymore. He called for Hank and with his help left the room so that he could help Hank to calm everyone down.

What Charles had not been prepared for was to find Erik in the sitting room, idly occupying one of the armchairs by the chessboard - still the centrepiece of the room - looking almost at home. He looked up alerted by the sound of them arriving and seemed to brighten up. He nodded towards something to his right, which was when Charles noticed his wheelchair waiting for him next to the chessboard.

Hank placed Charles gently down into chair and Charles moved himself closer to the fireplace, testing the chair out. It handled better than it had before; some of the old creaking was gone and the uneven edges had been smoothed down. Charles didn’t have to make any guesses about where the chair had come from. A glance towards Erik revealed that he was smiling carefully. This was obviously a peace offering. Charles couldn’t find it himself to thank Erik for it, even though as a gesture, it was appreciated.

Charles found himself a comfortable spot by the fire and close to the radio, a place where he’d gotten used to sitting at, but seeing Erik by the chessboard reminded him that it hadn’t always been his place. There was no way Charles would join Erik by the table, though, be it how awkward to sit apart like this.

“How have the students been taking Erik’s presence?” Charles asked Hank who’d returned to the door and was hesitating between leaving them here and staying to guard over them.

“I said that until you told him to leave, he was a guest of ours,” Hank replied, but his tone was courteous at best.

“That’ll do until we sort the situation out,” Charles said.

“They were asking if we should call the police,” Hank said.

The words made Erik sigh. He leaned to his knees and crossed his fingers. Hank and Erik locked gazes. “I do understand that I am an unwelcome guest,” Erik said. “There’s still something we have in common. This Alexander needs to stopped and judging from how easily he played us today, you cannot think about fighting him alone.”

“We can find others to help us,” Charles said. “Your help hasn’t been exactly trustworthy.”

Erik looked at him, his posture tensing up and the muscles in the arm drawing tighter. Charles lips felt dry. There was something he needed to do about this. Erik’s mere presence hadn’t used to draw him into knots like this. Erik’s look was not an apology, no, but he wanted them to hear him out. “I have as much to gain as you do in stopping him from impersonating me,” Erik said.

“It’s not much to go on,” Charles said.

“Tell me to leave then. I will go after him on my own if I have to,” Erik said. They stared at each other. This was the moment when Charles was supposed to say no to Erik and tell him to disappear for good.

“There’s something I need to do before I can think about Alexander,” Charles said instead. He looked down at his hands and the fingers that he had laced together. Mimicking Erik. Really? “It’s about Raven. It’s possible that Alexander has found her. You don’t happen to know about her whereabouts?”

“No,” Erik said. “We haven’t been on exactly favourable terms since Paris.”

Hank looked ruffled by the words. Erik’s nonchalance was rubbing him wrong, but Charles knew that what had happened back in Paris had gotten to Erik too. He only wished he knew what Erik was really thinking.

“I want her to safety now. I don’t know how Alexander found here but if he was telling the truth and Raven did point him this way, I fear for her.”

“I get that. Can you find out where she is?” Erik said. No hesitation.

“Is it the best idea to bring him along on this after what happened?” Hank asked. He really didn’t like the idea, and Charles couldn’t blame him for that. He too should’ve been worried.

“I want to do this now,” Charles said. “There isn’t many others we can ask on this short notice.” That was his reasoning for allowing this happen. Was that a waterproof reason? He didn’t care to find out. “If I manage to locate her tonight, we could be on our way early tomorrow.”

“I have nothing tying me down,” Erik said. “I can go whenever.”

“What about the students?” Hank asked.

“They can take care of themselves for a day,” Charles said. “They’ll probably enjoy it.”

“And how do we explain Erik showing up and us leaving with him the very next day? He is still a wanted criminal.”

“They’ll understand that life isn’t that black and white,” Erik said.

“No, we do owe them an explanation,” Charles said and silenced Erik’s protest with lifting his hand. “They won’t trust us after this if we don’t share anything with them. Can you gather everyone up, Hank? It’s better to get over with this now.”

When Hank was gone, Erik said “It’ll end better this time.”

“Don’t make any promises that you can’t keep,” Charles replied. A heavy silence settled around them. Charles was sure he could feel every laborious breath that they took roaring above everything else and it was a relief when Hank returned with loud teenagers in tow.

Explaining everything without bringing more than necessary of their past out was difficult, but somehow Charles managed to steer through it. He made sure not to excuse Erik’s actions even once. He acknowledged that yes, this was the man they had seen on the TV, talking about supremacy of the mutants and waging war. No, Charles didn’t believe in those things and Erik was not here because of that. Erik was here because there was an impersonator out there, a mutant, powerful and dangerous one. And for now everyone would just have to accept that Erik would be helping them out because they needed to work together for the good of the mutant kind.

Charles was exhausted when Hank finally herded everyone away. Erik had stayed quiet through the talk, leaning to the wall next to the fireplace and looking confident and just a bit arrogant. Now, he sat down in the chair by the chessboard again. He flicked his hand and the chess pieces that had been forgotten in the middle of a game a few weeks back rearranged themselves for a new game. “It’s been a while,” Erik said.

Charles shook his head. “No, Erik, we cannot do this every time you come back.”

“Humour me.”

“I should go look for Raven,” Charles said. He looked to the door to see if Hank would be coming back. Charles didn’t want to leave Erik alone in this house, and he felt uncomfortable alone with him.

“Hank won’t be back for a while. We can sit in silence while we wait for him if you prefer. Or we can start on a game,” Erik reasoned. He didn’t exactly smile, but there was an encouraging glint to his eyes and Charles could feel his resolve melting. The pain in his chest had not gone anywhere; it was only getting worse.

xXx

Erik followed Charles and Hank to see the Cerebro. As Charles donned on the helmet, Hank made sure to keep a close eye on Erik. Hanks loyalty was almost impressive. Ten years and counting, standing like a watchdog by Charles’ side. Erik wouldn’t have found it in himself to stand in Charles’ shadow the way Hank did. Hank had just watched, had allowed Charles to do whatever he wanted, allowed him to deteriorate to that shell Charles had been when they’d come to break him out of Pentagon. It was maddening. If Erik would’ve been given a chance to stay with Charles, he’d made sure to never let him lose his focus like this. Charles should never have just… wasted away.

It felt good to see that Charles had gotten better. He was thinner than he’d been, and now covered in scratches, but there wasn’t a desperate edge to him as there had been during the summer. He was angry, stubbornly so, but he seemed better and he’d obviously started piecing his life back together again.

The powerful need that Erik had for them to get past all that had happened so that he could be part of that life, still confused him. He didn’t have many regrets. He always acted as he thought was right, but there were times when things didn’t pan out as he’d wanted them to. If he’d had a way to ensure the safety of the mutants without going after Raven, he would’ve taken it. He had known that taking action against Raven was a sure way to sever all ties with Charles. It was preposterous of him to be here, demand that Charles let it go – and yet, Charles _had_ allowed him to stay. It grated Charles, Erik could tell. It was one of the things that made Charles angry.

Erik wasn’t sure what he was to do with Charles anger. It was impossible not to see the anger constantly brewing underneath the surface, waiting for the moment when Charles would lash out. It was infuriating to watch Charles draw back whenever Erik tried to reach out in an attempt to close the gap between them.

Working together to find Raven was a good thing. It would give Erik more time before Charles had no reason to tolerate his presence any longer. Saving Raven would be the first step to making things alright again; Erik knew he’d been offered a chance to right some wrongs the moment Charles had spoken of Raven.

Erik understood why Charles was worried about Raven now. The way Alexander had easily manipulated both of them made Raven an especially easy target. She’d always been… susceptible. Erik wasn’t entirely sure how Alexander worked, but he had a strong suspicion that it had something to do with tapping into their emotional core, and that was something Raven would be very vulnerable for. She was like Charles; needing others to tell her that she was doing the right thing. Without anyone to guide her, she wasn’t the most emotionally stable of the lot. The ‘Mystique’ persona that Raven had built out of herself was strong, and Erik had encouraged her to wear it like an armour, but Mystique was also more volatile and if Alexander got under her skin, it would be hard to say how she’d react. All in all, Alexander would have a field day toying with Raven.

Time ticked away. Charles sat hands on his lap, his fingers sometimes twitching but otherwise unmoving. Cerebro had seen better days; there were other scraps of metal laying around and wires on display. Erik picked up a stray screw and turned into a shiny sphere of metal. Hank seemed uneasy to see Erik dance the metal sphere in air above his hand, moving it from one knuckle to the next in a slow movement, almost absentmindedly.

Charles moved and both Hank and Erik were immediately ready to act. Charles took off the helmet, placing it down slowly before turning the wheelchair around. He looked determined. “I think I know where she is. She did seem to be under some distress,” he said slowly.

“Then we’ll go get her.”

“I’ll make arrangements to get the plane ready,” Hank said.

Charles shook his head. “It won’t be necessary. She’s close. We can take the car.”

“We could leave right now,” Erik suggested.

Charles looked up at him and did seem to think about the suggestion for a moment before ultimately turning it down. “I’m afraid that I’ll need all my energy to confront her. I don’t want to make stupid mistakes just because I’m tired and shaken. And I might’ve underestimated how much getting stabbed hurts. I’d rather not see more excitement tonight.”

Hank gave Erik an angry glare but Erik just looked away. There wasn’t much he could do to change what had happened.

They left Cerebro and Hank locked the door behind them. Erik watched for a while as Hank and Charles headed the other way before he turned around and took the stair up to his room.

His room was not his anymore. It carried no personal items of his, it hadn’t probably done so in a decade. Erik knew he’d left things behind but they would’ve been thrown away since. This room had been recently cleaned up for the use of others - probably for faculty if Charles ever planned to make this school of his anything bigger than it currently was. There must’ve been other rooms that were empty but Erik allowed himself to wonder for a moment if there was a reason why this and the neighbouring rooms had been left empty. Could it be that Charles was saving the room for him?

Obviously not. Erik might’ve felt nostalgic about the days they’d spent here but Charles had had plenty of time to get over them. Erik had not created new memories to bury them with, not while in solitary confinement in his concrete prison. He’d had years and years to think about his past, to make sure that he remembered the days here and the days with Charles as if they’d been yesterday.

They’d been a decade ago.

There was no going back. Logan had travelled back in time, but it was very unlikely that Erik would be given a similar chance. He had to look forward and learn from the past instead of dreaming how to change it.

He knew it was useless to reminiscence, but being in this room made it almost impossible. Why was he nostalgic over the days here? He’d been angry and confused, chased by nightmares, haunted by Shaw. He didn’t want to relive those raw feelings. But even though he’d been in a dark state of mind, Charles had been there to tell him that he could overcome it all, that he could find a peace with himself and that his actions didn’t have to reflect his past. And that was what had pushed him forward and ultimately, it had allowed Erik to find his true powers and given him the strength to kill Shaw.

Erik lay down on the bed and crossed his arms behind his head. They would find Raven and bring her back here whether she wanted it or not. Everything had started going wrong the day that Raven had left Charles to join Erik’s fight. Getting her back to Charles would be a good step towards a kind of atonement even though it wouldn’t change the past.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Charles had been serious about them leaving the first thing in the morning. When Hank woke Erik by knocking sharply on the door, it took him a moment to realise that it was not the middle of the night. Pale morning sun was making everything desaturated and grey, which didn’t do anything to cheer anyone up. Charles was especially gloomy as he met Erik at the front doors. They exchanged a nod, nothing more. Reassuring Charles that they would succeed felt inappropriate here where they might be overheard by anyone.

They took the car with Hank taking the wheel. He’d shed his pelt during the night. It made Erik take a second look during the morning, but he could shrug at the change after that. So Hank didn’t feel exactly comfortable in his skin still and preferred to look ‘normal’ when out in the world. He was far from the only mutant to feel like that.

Erik seated himself on the backseat and expected Charles to sit next to Hank in front, but was pleasantly surprised when Hank helped Charles to take a seat back with him. Hank took the wheelchair and left to fold it into the trunk. Erik gave a questioning look, but Charles just turned to look the other way without answering.

“We are going to have to talk if you want my help on this,” Erik said.

“I wanted you with us in case we run into Alexander. I’m not looking for upfront confrontation, but with the three of us we should be enough to hold him long enough to get Raven out and then run,” Charles explained. He was not in a better mood. “There’s nothing we need to talk about.”

“I think it might be easier to convince Raven to come with us if we weren’t fighting,” Erik said.

Charles turned to look at him now. The anger was there, just as strong as ever. “If it weren’t for the risk that Alexander presents us, you wouldn’t be sitting in this car. I haven’t forgiven you for trying to shoot Raven and I’m sure she hasn’t either.”

“She took it surprisingly well,” Erik said thinking back at how she’d confronted him immediately after the shooting. Sure, she’d promised that they would be enemies from now on, but Erik wasn’t worried. Erik knew Mystique better than Charles did. She didn't like Erik too much now, but that would not make her stop from working with Erik if doing so would be the best choice for her. Erik just had to make sure that she understood that Erik was safe for the time being, and that Charles needed her to return home. Charles didn’t seem to care much for Erik’s words, however.

“I’m going to have to work hard not to make her bolt at the sight of you. Don’t do anything to make things more difficult,” Charles said. “It would be for the best if you didn’t try to speak to her.”

Erik shrugged and turned to look out of the windows. Hank climbed in and there was no more room for them to talk. After some time in awkward silence, Hank switched the car radio on and they could all stay quiet, listening to the inane songs playing. The journey was taking them towards New York. It was interesting that Raven had ended up there. She could’ve been working towards a goal of her own or she'd also been called back by the actions of Alexander; who knew, maybe she might’ve been on her way homeward.

Charles gave Hank a few words of directions to guide them to the right place. Once they were getting closer to the city proper Charles closed his eyes and held fingers at his temple, using his powers to find her exact location. It was oddly nostalgic to see Charles hard at work like this, and for the moment Erik didn't care that he was staring. The distance between them was slowly getting smaller; or he could just as well be fooling himself. The thought made Erik turn away at an attempt to get some emotional distance to what was happening. He was here because his help was needed more than his presence; that was what Charles had said.

He might as well be of use.

It was early - there were very few people about which was good. Whatever Charles hoped, it was unlikely that they could catch Raven without it turning into a chase. The fewer people there were around then, the easier it would be for them and the harder it would be for Raven to use her powers to disappear. She was good in a crowd, Erik could beat her easily without one.

“Here,” Charles said suddenly. Hank guided them out of the stream of cars and found a place to park. Erik climbed out and looked around. It was a quiet street. The houses around them looked like apartments, five to six floors, fire escapes leading to small alleyways between the houses. It was an anonymous as places went. Everything showed signs of wear, but nothing looked uninhabited.

“She’s in the building there,” Charles said and pointed as Hank brought the wheelchair out. Erik was on his way immediately and Charles didn’t allow himself to be left behind. He caught up with Erik almost immediately. “I don’t pick the presence of anyone else in there, but Alexander has been able to shield himself from me before with the helmet. How did he even get his hands on it?”

“Ah,” Erik hesitated. “I didn’t exactly get it with myself after I left.” It had been an honest oversight from him. He hadn't been thinking too clearly that day. Seeing his plans unravel when he was so close to victory had left him unfocused. The emotional turmoil it had been to feel Charles stop him in his tracks, the desperation and anger all mixed up with his own rage, hadn’t helped him to think clearly either.

“So, you think Alexander picked it up from the wreckage?” Charles asked. Erik looked at him, momentarily disoriented. Thinking back at the day they’d separated last had brought him the image of Charles lying in the wreckage of the stadium, but here he was, still at Erik's side, alive and looking determined.

“It's the most likely explanation,” Erik replied, not fully convinced with the answer. Alexander could've picked the helmet up if people had been foolish enough to leave it behind, but that chain of events left many questions unanswered. Obviously, many people had seen what had gone down but for someone to get to the helmet and understand its power and then use it – it was worrying. They knew preciously little of Alexander, and all of it something that he’d revealed himself.

Hank tried the door, but it was locked. Erik flicked his fingers and it opened. Hank led the way to the stairs where Charles paused and looked up. Erik didn’t wait for a permission before taking hold of the metal of the chair and levitating it up. Charles looked startled at first, but accepted the help without protesting. Four floors up, and then Charles pointed at a locked door which Erik opened for them. Charles turned to look at Erik. He didn’t need to have it spelled out loud – he shouldn’t follow in.

Charles went in first, disappearing from sight. Hank followed right after. Erik had no intention to stay completely outside the situation; he needed to know if he had to step in or if Charles was about to let Raven run away. Peeking from the doorway, Erik could see that it was an uninteresting, anonymous, empty apartment with no furniture to speak of. There was a small smoking balcony, the door to it just slightly ajar revealing the access to the fire escape. No curtains, no rugs. There was a second room where Erik could just barely see into connected to the first one through an open archway. Charles had headed there immediately.

Hank was still looking around to find anyone hiding in ambush, but there wasn’t anywhere to hide; He was obviously just trying to stay out of the way. Erik knew that things were uncomfortable with Raven and Hank from the little Raven had been willing to talk about things in the past. The cure Hank had tried to perfect for her had made her feel betrayed. What did he think about Hank having perfected it, and that he was now using it?

Charles stopped at the doorway. “Raven,” he said so very softly that Erik could hardly hear it.

Someone was moving in the room, along the wall judging from the scrapping sound. Then she spoke. “Charles?” she hesitated. “Where did you go?” she demanded, the hesitation immediately gone and replaced with harsh anger. She was livid.

“Raven, I came to take you home,” Charles said. He spoke calmly, but he was clearly ignoring Raven’s words and that didn't help them at all. Erik couldn't see her, but he could easily imagine her skin turning prickly, her expression colder.

“Where did you go?” Raven demanded again. She moved closer to Charles now and Erik caught a glimpse of her. She was not wearing anyone’s skin at the moment and she looked wary as she stared at Charles, but then something drew her attention and she looked up and saw Hank - who was looking awkward and unsure about where he should be. “Hank,” she said. Then her gaze moved through the room and she noticed Erik. “Erik.” Her tone turned cold and she backed a few steps.

“Raven. It’s alright. Come home with us,” Charles said. His voice displayed strain that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Annoyed that Erik had not stayed hidden? Charles obviously didn’t get it that Raven would bolt the moment he saw Erik if she realised that he’d tried to hide his presence.

“What’s he doing with you?” Raven asked, now pointing at Erik.

Charles reached out for her, but she drew back from his touch. “Raven, darling, come home with me. I can tell Erik to go, but I want you to come home.”

Erik was careful to keep his expression neutral. Raven glanced at him again and Erik stayed put. He knew that Charles worshiped his sister and that she had gotten between them before, but it didn’t get less annoying with time.

Raven hesitated again. She stared at Erik as she backed several steps, carefully not letting Erik out of her sight. She then looked again at Charles; he was blocking her way out of the room and there were most likely no other ways out. “Where did you go?” she repeated again.

“I don’t understand, Raven,” Charles said calmly. “We returned to the manor after the events at Washington. I've been waiting for you at the Manor since.”

“You were here just days ago,” Raven said.

“It must’ve been Alexander pretending to be you, Charles,” Erik said. Charles grew tense immediately. Erik could only guess what Charles was thinking, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he was somehow blaming himself for this. “Did he say he’d be back? He who looked like Charles?” Erik asked, addressing his words for Raven.

“No,” Raven said and shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me he was going! He just left two days ago.”

“Raven, listen to me,” Charles said and reached out to take her hand. This time she allowed it. “There’s someone out there that can make you think he is someone else. Not like you. He is doing it with his mind,” Charles explained and touched his head to demonstrate. “He is dangerous. I want you to come with us so that he can’t get to you again.”

She didn’t say anything.

“If you are uncomfortable with Erik being around, I’ll tell him to leave,” Charles said.

“There’s no need to do that,” Erik said. Raven looked at him and Charles turned his head to do the same. “Raven understands that what happened doesn’t need to happen again.”

Charles backed and turned the wheelchair so that he could look directly at Erik. He didn’t have the time to say anything before Raven spoke up.

“I’d like to come home. He- he made me think about the days when we were all together,” she said. Somehow those words seemed to give her more power and her skin rippled as she dressed up into an unfamiliar form. Pretty girl, light hair, angular bones that gave her a haughty look. “I’d like to see the manor,” she said. Her gaze didn’t leave Erik once and her challenge was clear. She wasn’t afraid of him. “It’s been a while since I saw it.”

“Too long,” replied Charles, the relief apparent in his voice.

Hank led the way. He smiled at Raven who smiled back. After getting past her confusion, she seemed to be in strong spirits and laughed at something that Hank said to her. When she passed Erik, he got a cold shoulder from her, but they managed to avoid any other form of confrontation. Charles was equally pissed off with Erik, but allowed him to use his powers to levitate him back down.

It had gone easy, bafflingly so. Erik doubted that the others would’ve agreed - They looked too happy with having Raven in their fold again. Charles was carefully explaining the current situation with people staying at the manor and what they knew about Alexander. When it was time to press themselves into the car, Erik took the front seat next to Hank. Hank gave him a look that Erik interpreted as complimentary. He was cable of doing something right, at least.

xXx

The welcome they got was both surprised and excited. Whereas Erik had been cast as the villain of the story, Raven was something of a hero. She greeted everyone with some reservation, and Charles made sure to take her out of the crowd immediately when it was polite. The two of them had some catching up to do and everyone understood they should let them get on with it.

They had gotten back earlier than expected; it was an early afternoon. That left several uncomfortable hours trying to find something to do and somewhere to be where he didn’t stand in the way. Erik was above hiding in his room and so he took himself out and found the stair leading out onto the garden and sat down.

The weather was turning colder, but while the sun was shining he didn’t need more than his sweater. Clothes was something he’d have to think about soon; he hadn’t brought anything with him. He planned to ask Charles for some help with locating Alexander and then to be on his way to a motel. Clothes could be bought and discarded. He had not been one to gather material possessions around himself. He’d had a few books of his own, but most of the things he’d needed had been something that he could’ve borrowed from Charles or acquired when needed. He’d have to ask if some of his old things were still hidden somewhere. He didn’t find it hard to believe that Charles would’ve just put them away, labelled as old memories.

He… was older now. He didn’t exactly feel a need to settle down, but he was also aware of time passing in a completely different way now. Ten years since he’d been here. It was a difficult thought to get his mind around.

Did he look that much older? He must’ve. Charles had changed, but Erik didn’t mind the lines as much as he hated knowing that he’d caused a few of the deepest. Charles still looked good. His eyes were still that impossible clear blue and they still gave Erik a pause whenever they sought out his. How long Charles would look for his company, he was uncertain about. Erik had hoped that finding Raven would make things easier for him, but he’d been wrong and Raven being here was like adding salt to their wounds. Since Raven had come out of her free will, Erik hadn’t really gotten to help out with getting her to return, the opposite. Erik hadn’t doubted for a moment that if Raven had demanded it, Charles would’ve left Erik behind right there and then. And yet, Erik knew that had they not found her, Charles would’ve worried and pushed Erik aside while he was doing that. Now, there was a slight chance that Charles would-

Erik leaned to his hands and watched the scenery. Once upon a time Charles had helped him search for peace of mind, tranquillity that would give him better access to his powers. Erik had thought he’d learned his lesson when his powers had come to him stronger than ever, but he knew now that he had never found true peace. The inner turmoil still raged within him. He wouldn’t call them regrets, but still he wondered how it would be to be forgiven.

xXx

Talking with Raven had felt good.

Charles could hardly believe that they’d managed to talk her into returning to the manor with them, but when they’d sat down in the car she’d almost been excited about the thought. It had been years since she’d been back there with him – she had confessed to returning back once that summer to break the Cerebro - which Charles had already known and didn’t mind, didn’t mind at all now that she was coming back with them.

There was much they couldn’t talk about. Neither of them had wanted to mention the dark years when everything had been so raw to Charles that he’d pushed everyone away and she’d been lost and all alone after losing her companions. They were back together now and that was all that mattered. They could talk about lost time when they felt strong enough to meet the monsters that hid there.

They were back together, all of them. It had not been Charles’ intention to rebuild his world to resemble the past when he’d set out to find Raven. Even though Erik and Raven were here, and even though the students reminded Charles of the first team he’d trained, it was not the same as it had been. Hearing the sounds of people in the hallways and knowing that Raven was sleeping in her room and that Erik was close by, was not enough to heal any of them.

It was all too apparent.

Raven was not Raven anymore – she was Mystique. Harder, colder and filled with anxious energy that made her stand on the edge all the time. Charles himself couldn’t stop thinking about what could go wrong, fearing that everything would unravel and slip through his fingers the moment his concentration faltered and Erik… Erik might’ve already left.

Charles had not seen or heard from Erik since they’d returned. Charles had spent the whole of the afternoon with Raven. He’d been unwilling to leave Raven’s side until she’d finally nodded off. The whole afternoon had been wonderful and so reminiscent of days long past when they had both still been children that Charles hadn’t had a thought to spare for anyone else.

The moment he’d left her room, however, he’d become acutely aware of their situation. Alexander had found Raven, who was better than most at hiding. He’d lured her out with playing at Magneto – she’d wanted to watch Magneto to know what to do about him making the news again. Once Alexander had sensed Raven at his periphery, he’d been able to transform himself into what Raven wanted to see. It made Charles sad to the core to know that Alexander had abused his image, and that Raven had wanted to talk to Charles so much that Alexander’s illusion had fooled her. Charles regretted that he hadn’t done something more than wait at the manor for her return. He regretted letting her go all those years back, for not dragging her home after the Trask incident, regretted letting Alexander get close to her.

And yet, for this moment, Charles could push the thought of Alexander to the side. He was a distant enemy and it was Erik who was causing Charles worry. Charles had no idea where he was. He had meant it when he’d told Raven that if Erik being with them would’ve made her decline their invitation, Erik would have to go. Erik had not protested then and since Raven had followed them home, Charles hadn’t thought about his words again. Not until now that it had gotten dark outside and Erik was nowhere to be seen.

Hank hadn’t had any idea where Erik might’ve gone. On the surface, Hank looked worried when Charles asked him about Erik’s whereabouts, but he hadn’t been able to hide the flash of relief that his thoughts had betrayed. Obviously, Hank was the sane one here. Having Erik around complicated things and it would be best for all of them if Erik had decided to leave. Charles couldn’t fault Hank for thinking that even if he himself struggled with keeping his emotions in check. He hadn’t forgiven anything, no, he was still angry about all the things Erik had done, but not having him around felt suddenly worse.

Charles liked many things about Erik. Having had him around for a day had reminded Charles about many of them. Erik was… pleasing to look at, certainly. He had a presence that demanded attention. He was a power to behold, in good and bad.

On the way to Paris, Charles had still been so raw from withdrawals from stopping taking the serum and meeting Erik again after a _decade_ that he hadn’t had room for anything besides anger. Now, in the melancholy that he was surrounded by, other treacherous feelings lifted their head. Suddenly the longing he felt for Erik shone bright like a lighthouse at the horizon.

Charles knew better than to follow that light; it was guiding him to the shallows and leave him stranded there, alone and hurt once again.

It was already past midnight and everyone but Hank and Charles had retired to their rooms. Hank too was dosing off in his chair. The radio was quiet. It had been a long day and Charles was completely exhausted, but his mind declined to calm down. He was testing the air, feeling for the many minds that slept around him. Some of the kids were still up, but even they would calm down soon. Charles made sure not to nudge Raven’s mind, unsure about how she’d react to that. Him intruding had caused them problems in the past – Charles wasn’t about to take any risks right now.

Hank startled in his chair and blinked. He pushed himself up and yawned, then gave an apologetic smile. Charles just nodded and returned the smile. He didn’t need Hank pushing himself to keep him company any longer.

“G’night,” Hank mumbled and then he too wandered away.

Charles looked after Hank for a while longer than was necessary, but it was easier to stare into the empty hallway than to see what was in the room immediately next to him. After a while, Charles did turn his head and looked at the chessboard and the game of chess that he’d unwillingly started with Erik yesterday. They’d not gotten further than few moves in before Hank had interrupted them. Charles looked at the board and then moved his knight. It was Erik’s move now.

Charles leaned back and allowed himself to to look back, something he'd been careful to avoid lately.

The moment he’d found Raven in the kitchen of this very house, he’d known he wasn’t alone. He’d been so very grateful for Raven for her company back then that it felt absurd now that he’d probably never told her as much. She’d been so shy back then that he’d felt the need to protect her, protect from everything, and he’d never shared his doubts and insecurities with her. She’d been a little sister to him, someone he couldn’t help but think as so very fragile that she’d break if he’d ever let anything get to her.

A good job he’d done at that. She was not a little girl anymore, cracked to pieces by life’s hardships that he’d been unable to protect her from, all grown up now. But she _was_ safe now, she was safe home again. They would need time to rebuild the trust, but Charles was hopeful. She could stay here and help out at the school. She would probably like it.

The night he’d heard Erik in the darkness, however, Charles had known that there was someone out there who could understand him. Someone who could read him like an open book and someone who hardly needed words to pick up on what Charles thought, needed and wanted. And Charles had thought he’d understood Erik – he’d seen his pain like nobody had the right to, but Erik hadn’t resented him for that. Not in the beginning anyway.

They’d worked so beautifully together. Charles turned to look at the fire that was slowly dying out. It was not difficult to think about the days they’d spent here together. He had liked all the evenings sitting in this room, talking about the progress they’d made during the day, Erik always pushing everyone hard, demanding more, wanting them to be ready to take down Shaw as fast as possible and Charles always reassuring him that they would be ready and Erik had always, in the end, nodded, slowly, trusting that Charles was right.

They had achieved so much in those few weeks they’d had here, and now Charles wondered what might’ve happened if they’d had had more time. If they’d known each other better, maybe Charles could’ve known how to stop Erik from leaving the moment they’d defeated Shaw.

If only things hadn’t turned sour down the road.

If they had found time to really get to know each other, life might’ve turned out completely different.

Charles could easily imagine how it could’ve been if a few frantic weeks had been a month or two instead. At the CSI base, there hadn’t been too much privacy or time for them to work through whatever it was that always sparked to life when they were together. There had been an instant connection that had been maddening and wonderful and Charles couldn’t have helped occasional glances at Erik to just see that he was still there, still intriguing, still smiling whenever he’d caught Charles looking.

When they’d come here to the Manor, Charles hadn’t known what to do. He’d never had to answer that question, though. They’d been on a mission. There had been much to do and even more to preoccupy his mind with. They hadn’t talked about their lives, past or future, during the evenings that they’d stolen for themselves from the kids. Erik had already shared more than he’d really been ready to and Charles’s life had been so simple compared to his, filled with mundane grievances, that talking about it had never felt important. It hadn’t really mattered, not back then. They’d been content with the little they had and their silent companionship – never really needing words to fill the time.

He was fooling himself by trying not to think about it.

Imagining how it would’ve been if he’d had more time with Erik. Focusing on the past, avoiding the now. Skirting around the issue at hand: He didn’t want to see Erik leaving again.

Charles closed his eyes, feeling the terror that the thought of losing Erik again brought with itself. Raven was here now and she seemed content. She might even stay this time around, but Erik – Erik was restless just as Charles was, and Charles had made it clear to him in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t welcome. Erik might already taken the hint and decided to leave - which made it painfully ironic that it was now that Charles could admit it to himself that he wanted to keep holding onto Erik.

He could almost laugh at how weak all this made him feel. Here he was, alone in the darkening room with a dying fire, second guessing choices made in the past, hoping to arrive into a different now, somehow. So, maybe he did wish now that he had answered the burning question of where he and Erik had been headed back then before it was too late. Wishing that he’d done something didn’t change anything. A madness that was catching up with him now, a hysterical need to laugh and cry and _feel_.

It didn’t matter.

It had been too late then and it definitely was too late now.

Charles watched the embers flicker in the fireplace until the last of them died out. He waited until the warmth started disappearing and only then left for his room. He didn’t get far, however. In the darkness of the hallway he immediately sensed that he wasn’t alone. A moment later he heard the main door open and close quietly, as if someone had eased it shut. Charles turned the wheelchair around and waited in silence. His heart beat picked up in pace and was suddenly hammering painfully in his chest.

Erik paused in middle of the hall when he caught sight of Charles.

“Where have you been?” Charles asked. He kept his voice as low as he could without turning it into a whisper out of consideration to people sleeping in the rooms around them. He could still remember asking the exact same question yesterday, and it was a curious echo of yesterday. Same words, completely different emotion behind them. Then he’d been angry. Now he was… just waiting for the inevitable, and hoping for something else.

Erik didn’t reply immediately and just stood there in the darkness. He was drawn with odd shadows in the weak light that came from the windows of the entrance hall. In this odd light his silhouette was the same broad shoulders, slim waist that Charles kept looking for in the crowds. The shadows hid away all the years. For this moment, Erik was still the same man that had fascinated Charles at first sight.

“I needed a moment alone,” Erik said finally. “And I needed to get some things if I’m to stay here any longer.”

Charles could feel a smile tugging at his lips at the same time as an overwhelming sadness welled within him. Erik had returned, and he still wanted to stay. The pain in his chest was radiating through his body like never before. Oh, how much he wanted things to be this simple! It could never be, though, and so Charles had to tell himself it was too late. He had to keep telling himself that Erik was bound to leave, the sooner the better because that was the truth, proven again and again.

“I’m not sure you should stay,” Charles said. ”You are making everyone nervous. Raven is agitated enough without you being here.”

“I’m not going,” Erik replied. He walked closer now. He’d found himself a jacket that he hadn’t had with himself yesterday. It fit him perfectly, drawing Charles attention to the edge where the open jacket ended and Erik’s waist began. “We can work through this. She’ll calm down.”

“I’m not choosing you over my sister,” Charles snapped. He gripped hard on his chair. Erik would soon be standing right in front of him, lording over him, and even though Charles didn’t usually feel intimidated by that, he wasn’t feeling too powerful right now.

“I’m not asking you to,” Erik said. He stopped only a feet or two from Charles and looked down at him, lips drawn into a determined line. “I’m not asking to take her place.”

Charles knew he couldn’t have this. They’d tried, they’d failed. Charles had given Erik a second chance, and Erik had used it to hurt Charles again. “I can’t do this. I just can’t,” Charles said. He shook his head sharply.

“Charles,” Erik said softly. He kneeled down in front of Charles, bringing them to the same level. “Charles, what do you want?”

What did he want? Erik dared to ask him that question when it must’ve been painfully obvious by now. Charles let a shaky laugh escape. “I-“ he started, but couldn’t find any words. Something of what he was thinking must’ve communicated through his hesitation, because when Charles looked at Erik, Erik breathed in and grew very still. They looked at each other and their eye contact held long enough to become painful.

Even though it was all wrong, Charles knew he wanted Erik in every implication of the word. He wanted to keep Erik by his side even though Erik had hurt him so many times and he wanted to reach out and touch Erik to know that he was real, to know how it would feel like to-

“Charles,” Erik said, his voice nothing but a breath. “I won’t leave this time.” It was a promise of so much more, but Charles couldn’t accept it. His whole body felt hollow and his breath got caught in his throat. “Allow me to stay by your side or I’ll just end up rebounding back time after time until it’ll break me.”

“Don’t do this. I don’t need more promises from you that you can break. Save your breath. You can’t convince me that everything will be alright again. The time for this is long past,” Charles said. They were so close that the proximity was hard to ignore. If either of them had pushed them this far in the past, Charles would’ve welcomed the intimacy with open arms, but now all he could do was to fight of the crushing feeling of disappointment. He couldn’t have this. He was so close, but he couldn’t have this.

Erik drew Charles’s attention back to himself with a ragged breath. “I will give everything I have as atonement. Get inside my head, stay there. Keep me on a leash. Stop me from leaving.”

Charles shook his head. This time he could no longer fight the tears back. “That’s not what I want.”

Erik reached out with a hand and placed it on Charles’ cheek. He used his thumb to dry away the tear. Charles stayed still and allowed the touch. His heart was pounding so hard that Erik must’ve heard it. “You’ve betrayed my trust too many times for me to dare giving you my heart as well,” he said, the words hardly a whisper anymore.

“I know I’m asking for more than I’ll ever deserve,” Erik said.

And just like that, the floodgates were breaking. Charles turned his head, pulling away from the touch. Getting sentimental alone in the darkness had been a very bad idea. His whole body was screaming now and the cheek Erik had briefly touched was stinging. Charles wanted to know what it would be like. He wanted to tell Erik to stay. He wanted to tell Erik just how much he… _wanted_ him. Did Erik want the same? Would he be repulsed by the thought? All Charles would have to do to find out was to tap onto Erik’s mind, but he would never do that.

Erik hadn’t moved when Charles dared to look back at him. “I’m tired,” Charles said quietly. “It’s late.” He moved further away.

“I-“ Erik started, then hesitated.

Getting distance from Erik helped Charles to clear his head. “I don’t ask you to promise that you’ll never hurt me again, but the next time you break my heart, I want you to leave without coming back.” Then he turned around and left for his room, determined not to look back.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Erik wasn’t surprised to find out that sleep eluded him. If he’d been unsure where he stood in relation to this house and its inhabitants before, he was even more uncertain now. The children were afraid of him, Raven would try to confront him at some point and that had the potential to end disastrously, and after what had happened this night, even Charles had a reason to be uneasy around him. Erik was even more of an unwelcome guest than he’d been before.

He would not be defeated by this, no, Erik would not leave no matter how much they pushed him. He would not leave this time, not after the glimpse into what _could be_ that Charles had allowed him to see.

Erik had been aware that the curiosity had always been there, but seeing Charles letting it show like this had been unexpected. Erik had thought that all the things that had gotten between them since the early days would’ve overshadowed the curiosity, killed it and buried it deep. Erik had thought that he would have to patiently wait until a new trust had been established before Charles would even consider forgiving him. He’d never expected that Charles would want his company after everything.

Something had made Charles desperate enough to act, and far earlier than Erik had thought possible. Could it simply be the fact that time was running out, and it wasn’t just Erik who felt it? Could the decision to get Raven back have actually helped them along this far? It felt too good to be true.

Erik felt his heart pick up the pace. He wasn’t unaffected by the thought of actually getting close to Charles again, getting closer than they’d ever been before. Erik hadn’t had time to think about much more than Shaw back when they’d first met. He’d noticed Charles looking, but years had taught him to be selective with what he wanted, and he had decided not to think about the meaning of those looks back then. Now, it was different.

He did want to give into the temptation now.

He was also terrified. Neither of them were in control of the situation. The desperation from the summer had been back in Charles’ eyes this night, and he’d looked angry at giving away as much as he had. At the same time, when Charles had pulled away, it had been after considerable hesitation. There was no doubt about it in Erik’s mind - they wouldn’t be able to just forget. They needed to find conclusion, and maybe, this time, it could end differently. There were considerable issues to get through, but there had always been those. Their lives had not let them be unscarred.

There was hope again, and Erik was afraid of it. Hope led to desperation, and desperation was dangerous. If Erik failed to be worth Charles trust again, he would do more damage than he’d ever done before.

xXx

Mystique was standing in the kitchen when Erik entered. He’d slept late after waiting for sleep half of the night. He hesitated when he saw her, but decided to walk in anyway. The first problem he had to face was winning Mystique over – and compared to her brother, she was the easier challenge. She wore the face of a beautiful girl but her own scowl.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, moving further back in the room so that the kitchen table stood in between them.

There were many things that Erik could’ve said. None of them would make it better between the two of them, though. “There’s no need for us to fight each other, Mystique,” he said instead. He did his best to look harmless.

She said nothing.

“It would be good for everyone if we could get over what has happened in the past. I’m sure we both regret some of the things we’ve done,” Erik continued. “We do have a common enemy to fight now.”

“Alexander,” Mystique said. “He wore your face.”

“I know,” Erik replied. “I’m not happy about it.”

“Charles said that he overpowered you with ease.”

Erik lifted an eyebrow. She sounded just a bit too happy about Erik having been bested. “He won’t be doing it again,” Erik said.

“And you won’t be fooling me into trusting you again,” she replied. She pushed her way past Erik out of the kitchen. Erik didn’t bother turning around to see her go. It could’ve gone worse, he thought.

“She’ll come around.”

Erik was quick to turn around now and then get out of the way as Charles moved into the kitchen. His tone had been dry and sarcastic, but not unkind.

“How are you?” Erik asked.

“I am fine,” Charles answered. So much unspoken was exchanged in the look he gave Erik. They were _alright_ , but there was no need to talk about what had happened last night. Not out here in the open, at least. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t just disappear next time. We do have an impostor going around.”

“I doubt you’re going to be fooled by him next time.”

“I wouldn’t be so certain. There’s something unsettling in the way his powers work. I can’t quite understand them,” Charles said.

“We know what he does now,” Erik said.

“You are usually good at keeping your own against telepathic influences,” Charles countered. “It took me a while to even realise that he was doing something to me and he could keep his hold even after I knew that something was amiss. Did you feel him manipulating you?”

Erik leaned to the counter behind himself and crossed his feet. “No, not really. But I think it has to do with emotions or impulses. It was hard to piece together a rational chain of thoughts. What are we going to do about him?”

“He seemed to struggle keeping both of us enthralled at the same time,” Charles said. He sounded pensive for a moment. “It’s hardly a fool proof plan. He could still goad us to attack each other.”

“We know better now,” Erik said. Charles gave him a dry smile and Erik found himself answering it. So, they could joke about how close Erik had gotten to killing Charles. That had to be a good sign. All in all, this conversation was giving Erik hope. Charles had not tried to avoid him after what had happened yesterday night. “Alexander is bound to show up again sooner or later. We need some kind of a plan.”

“We are a bit low on manpower,” Charles said. “The students do want to help out, but I don’t know how much I want to let them get involved.”

“Allow them to make their own decision about that,” Erik said. “They are not so young not to know this could get dangerous.”

“They don’t know how dangerous it is. Most of them are still getting adjusted to the thought of telepathy to even talk about someone controlling them with their mind. It’s a situation which I don’t want to end up with unpredictable people.”

“There’s little you can do about it,” Erik said. “I’m surprised you trust me enough to let me in.”

“You’ve never been unpredictable,” Charles replied, now turning more serious. There was a sadness to Charles’ smile before he continue. “You said it yourself. Either I’m letting you work with us or you’ll go after him alone. I don’t know which one will work in the advantage of Alexander. Which is the issue with getting the others involved. Is it better to approach him with as little people as possible or to bring everyone along?”

“You, me, Hank and Mystique should be able to handle it,” Erik said. “Or are you thinking about leaving Mystique out of it? She won’t like it.”

“ _Raven_ hasn’t told me what she wants to do. I think she might want to come along,” Charles said. “She didn’t like being fooled like that.”

“That might be something of a problem. She and I aren’t exactly getting along,” Erik said and glanced towards the door. Mystique was long gone by now.

“I’m not going to tell her to forgive you,” Charles said. “It’s not my place to tell her what she ought to feel about the fact that you tried to kill her.”

Cold. Erik wanted to ask if Charles had forgiven him, but it didn’t feel right. Erik had already gotten more than he deserved with having Charles extend his welcome this far. Forgiveness was nothing he should demand for himself. “We’ll work it out.”

Charles moved through the kitchen to one of the windows to watch out to the garden. “I’ll keep an eye out for Alexander, but who knows when we catch his scent again. He managed to hide himself from me for months.”

“There must be something else we can do while we wait for his move,” Erik said. He looked at Charles, the wheelchair he was bound in and wondered how Charles would react if he’d walk over to him and placed his hand on Charles’ shoulder. Erik longed to touch Charles, but had he the right to?

Charles turned around. “You should probably join us at the dinner. Your presence here will never become normal, but it might help ease the nerves of the students if you would show your face once in a while. Until that, I have a class to teach.”

“And how do you feel about having me around?”

Charles looked at him, a smile slowly spreading on his face. It was a curious smile, soft but reserved. “It makes me wonder about what could’ve been if things had turned out differently.” He pushed at the wheels and moved towards the door.

“We are never going to get past that, are we? People showing up from the future and twisting up timelines? Endless what if’s?” Erik asked without expecting an answer.

xXx

They found an odd sort of routine for themselves for the following days. As Charles had requested, Erik joined them for dinner. He didn’t talk much with the students, but as days passed they stopped getting startled by him even if they always made sure not to get in his way. In the evenings, Erik would wait in the sitting room and Charles would join him there once he was done for the day. Sometimes Hank was there with them, sometimes even Mystique but she preferred to stay in her room most of the time.

They did not end up _talking_ again. Erik didn’t find a time to push, and Charles did not bring that night up on his own. Erik wasn’t willing to take the risk that he would break the fragile peace that they’d found by demanding too much. There were times when their eyes met and there was undeniable tension there, a need to do _something_ , but those moments were often broken by someone entering the room or a loud sound carrying from somewhere in the building, and if nothing else came to their rescue, Charles would abruptly move away and say he was tired. Erik didn’t fight him on the issue.

However, it felt like they were heading somewhere. Charles attitude towards him had taken an abrupt turn with the one night. He was undoubtedly friendlier now and Erik found himself looking forward to each new day when he woke up at the manor. There would be a day when they couldn’t handle the anticipation any longer and they’d had to confront the curiosity that Charles had brought into daylight.

Then, after a week had passed, Charles found Alexander.

“He wants to be found,” Charles said. Erik, Hank and Mystique were all present. The doors to the room had been closed and the student had been told that this didn’t involve them, but it was obvious that they would be curious and would find a way to listen in. They had come to a decision not to include any of them on this mission for now. Alexander’s powers were too unpredictable.

“Does that change anything?” Hank asked. “Are we going to go after him now that we know that he’s expecting us?”

Mystique turned to look at Charles, but she said nothing. She was sharper now than she’d been when they found her, stronger, more aggressive. This girl wouldn’t run away; she’d fight. Having Mystique like this was not necessarily a good thing, because it was obviously making Charles nervous. He’d never known Raven when she was getting ready to fight and he didn’t really know what to do about her; treat her like a little sister or try to work with the adult she’d become even if it was not what Charles had envisioned her?

“I say we should go,” Mystique said. “Who knows when we find him again.”

“We still need a plan,” Charles said.

“If all he has is some mind tricks, he can’t take us all at the same time,” Erik said.

Charles turned to look at him. “Is that what you think about my mutation?” There was a smile to Charles words. “I fear that he’s even more powerful than I am, and I know I can take over the mind of someone completely. There is no saying what he can do. He was just toying with us last time.”

“Stop worrying about it,” Erik said. Charles was just stalling right now. “He hasn’t a chance against us. We’ve all gotten stronger during the years. Who can tell how much we can achieve now?”

Charles smiled his sad smile now as he looked around. Sure, they were a few members short, but this team had fought together before and they’d been a force to behold.

“Fine. Hank, get the plane ready. Do we want to suit up for old time’s sake?” Charles asked.

Mystique laughed. “You still have the outfits for us?”

“No, they’re not the same,” Hank said. “The once we wore back then were just prototypes. I made some new once years back, but they’ve never seen use.”

Years. It was still so very hard to believe that years had passed.

“I say we suit up. We might as well become the new x-men right now,” Charles said.

xXx

One short plane ride later, they found themselves at an old airport. It had been odd to walk to the plane as a team, but for a moment everyone had been able to push their underlying tensions and feuds aside. Erik had not been the only one who had enjoyed the nostalgia. Everyone had been easier to smile on the journey and Mystique was almost giddy with excitement as they started approaching their destination.

It had not seen much use, the airport they landed on, grass growing on the runway and the terminal building looking mostly abandoned. There was no-one to meet them as they landed.

Alexander had picked this place: it was open and unfamiliar. They’d been able to spy a few farms on their way here, but there was little to no infrastructure around the airport. This had been a middle station once upon a time, but had fallen out of use since. It was as good a place as any for an open confrontation.

Alexander was nowhere to be seen, though. “Where is he?” Erik asked Charles.

Charles was looking around, two fingers on his temple. “He is close,” he said, then wrinkled his brow. “He cut the connection. He must be using the helmet again.”

“I’ll not make the mistake of forgetting it behind next time,” Erik said. “Come on, let’s move.” Erik took the lead and started leading them towards the terminal building. It was the only place in sight where anyone could hide in. Charles made his best to keep up, but the uneven ground was making it difficult for him. Erik took hold of the wheelchair with his powers and moved it over a particularly difficult terrain without even turning to look at Charles. “We’ll work through this together.”

“As a team,” Charles corrected.

Erik turned to look at him and smiled. He could now also see Raven looking around, her head darting fast from side to side. Hank was walking on Erik’s other side, now completely in his furry blue form. Ragtag team of mutants, but mutants that he’d known longer than most. It was not his brotherhood where everyone had been fighting for one single, burning cause, ready to give their lives for it – which most of them had – but strong nevertheless. Hank’s loyalty to Charles and Raven couldn’t be questioned, but Raven was unpredictable. Charles... Erik preferred not to think about.

“Still no sight of him,” Hank said. The shadow of the building was already reaching them, but besides the first curious people that Charles had told to return to their work without bothering them, there was not a living soul in sight.

“He is here,” Charles said. “I could feel his presence when we landed. I don’t think he could’ve fooled me there.”

“I don’t like this game he’s playing,” Erik said.

“Neither do I,” Charles agreed. “Raven, you and Hank go inside and see if there’s something there. I’ll keep an eye out,” he said and tapped his forehead once.

“Still adamant not to use your telepathy on me?” Erik asked. Charles looked almost guilty as he looked up.

“There’s no need as of now,” Charles said. He looked away, scanning the open field. There was much he didn’t say. They stood there in the shadow of the building, waiting. It was pointless.

“I’ll go after Hank and Raven,” Erik said. He didn’t wait for Charles permission before moving fast towards the open doors, opening them up with his powers. He wasn’t willing to play hide and seek. The building was an open space, empty and a complete waste of time. Hank was just returning to the big hall that Erik entered into and a moment later Raven appeared from a door on the opposite side of the hall. Nothing, her headshake said.

But that was when Erik could feel it. He’d been around telepaths before and when he knew to be alert, he knew when someone was reaching for his mind. There was a fluttering feeling tickling his gut for the briefest of moments – an unexpected feeling of hope that it was Charles that had wanted to talk to him – but the moment passed when Charles didn’t immediately announce himself. Erik looked around, trying to see Alexander. He could only see Hank and Raven getting closer.

Something flickered in the air and Erik grew tense, testing the air and feeling for the metal in the surroundings. Hank noticed that something was amiss and he too surveyed his surrounding more keenly now, crouching down as he did so.

The door behind Erik opened and he spun quickly around. It was Charles. He looked worried. Erik allowed his gaze to move slowly through the room, passing Hank, moving over to Raven who stared back at him, forward towards the doors that Raven has just before walked through. Erik looked from Hank to Charles and back to Raven. Raven was still staring straight back at him, challenging him.

“Somethings wrong,” Hank was saying.

“I know what it is,” Erik replied as the sudden realisation hit him. _Raven_. It was genius in its simplicity. “That’s not Raven. It likely that it hasn’t been Raven to begin with.”

“What are you talking about?” Charles asked.

“Have you read her mind?” Erik asked.

“No,” Charles said. “But I know my sister.”

Erik turned to look at Raven again. She had not said anything, but her stare was turning angrier. She was ready to make a move, just as Erik was.

“Why did she come with us when we found her? She didn’t even put up a fight.”

“I wanted to come,” Raven said.

Pieces started fitting together. It had all gone too easy. Raven had appeared the moment they’d looked for her, and she’d come without a fight. She’d not tried to fight Erik at the mansion either. It made sense only if it was because it was Alexander in disguise, not ready to start a fight where he would be overpowered. That was why he’d led them here, out into the open, middle of nowhere. That’s why they couldn’t have found him – Charles wouldn’t have searched the minds of those closest to him.

Charles could never hurt Raven. Neither would Hank. Alexander had understood that by picking the form of Raven, he would be invulnerable. Only Erik was willing to raise a hand against Raven and see through the disguise.

Erik pulled on metal in the surroundings. A chair shrieked as he twisted it out of form, a table tumbled as Erik drew the metal of its feet closer. “Let go of that form,” Erik demanded from ‘Raven’.

“Erik,” Charles said firmly. Erik didn’t turn to look at him.

Raven was on the move. Erik saw her speed up and jump in the air, aiming for him. He hit her with the nearest table that sent her tumbling down, but she rolled easily back up, dancing out of the way as Erik sent more metal her way, reaching for the walls now to get heavier ammunition.

Despite Erik’s best efforts Raven got closer to him. She was in the air, aiming a kick at his head, Erik had his hand in the air to block the kick with whatever metal lay in the wall behind him - when Hank hit Erik with the full mass of his body. Hank cried out when the heavy beam that had been originally meant for Raven hit him in the stomach, pinning him momentarily to the floor.

“Don’t you see that _that’s_ not Raven!” Erik yelled, fighting his way back to his feet.

“Erik, that _is_ Raven!” Charles cried. “Alexander is messing up your head. I would’ve noticed if it wasn’t Raven. She has spent a week with us!”

Erik turned to look at Charles and saw his anger, and was then promptly kicked by Raven. The force of the kick threw Erik against the wall and then he dropped on the floor, on his knees with one hand steadying him. He looked up to see Raven running towards him. He drew his hand into a fist and the metal from the room gathered itself as a cocoon around him.

It was Alexander. Charles was being fooled by Alexander. Erik had a long list of evidence to support his theory. He’d picked up on that something was amiss with Raven the moment they’d found her – it wasn’t just now, it wasn’t. Raven wouldn’t have attacked Erik like this if it wasn’t truly Alexander in disguise.

Erik got up to his feet and the cocoon around him opened up. Erik waved his hand to turn metal into small missiles that played in the air right behind him. Raven had withdrawn to the other side of the room and was sizing him up. She knew he was dangerous. Erik tried the metal in the air, quivering, ready to shoot across the air.

“Erik, stop!” Charles yelled. He had not moved from the door, but his hands were on the wheels of his wheelchair and he looked like he wanted to move in between them. It would’ve been foolish. Charles was bound to his wheelchair – there was not much he could do if Erik and this ‘Raven’ wanted to push through him. “STOP it!”

The second stop echoed in Erik’s mind. Charles had not entered Erik’s mind. No, this stop was just an echo.

A sobering echo.

Erik looked at Raven. She was still flickering, but Charles didn’t see that-

Alexander _had_ overpowered Charles before.

Erik pushed his hands forward and the metal listened him. Raven shrieked and threw herself out of the way, hitting the ground less gracefully than she usually did, and was then rolling away as fast as she could. The metal shrapnel stuck out of the wall and the floor all around Raven, and at least one had hit her because there was a line of blood on the floor. Erik marched after her to finish this of.

Raven was scrambling to her feet, but Erik caught her with a metal tube, tripped her over and then dragged her towards himself. Charles was moving towards them now, crying again and again for Erik to stop, but he would never reach them in time. The floor was uneven of all the metal that Erik had peeled of the walls. Hank tried to crash into Erik again, but this time Erik managed to block him.

Erik kneeled on the floor above Raven and placed his hands on her throat. “Let go of this form,” Erik demanded. “Show Charles that I’m right.”

Raven hissed and squirmed in his hand. “You just want to get rid of me,” she cried out. “You fear the truth that Charles will always choose me over you.”

“No,” Erik said, choking her harder. “Show me your true face.”

“This is mine. This is the one you taught me,” Raven said, fighting for the words and clawing at Erik’s hands now.

_The one you taught me._

Erik let go and fell back. No.

This was not right.

Erik climbed up to his feet, darting to look around himself. If the Raven at his feet was not Alexander, that man needed to be close. But how could Erik be sure? Raven had felt real underneath him. Hank hesitated now, seeing that something was different. He was moving closer to Erik, circling towards Raven but keeping his distance from Erik. No, Alexander couldn’t have taken Hank’s form. Erik darted to look at Charles who tried to fight his way closer, but couldn’t. Charles stare didn’t leave Erik alone. No, that couldn’t… That couldn’t be Alexander.

“Where is he?” Erik asked. The words came out just as desperate as he felt. He wasn’t sure. He knew that Alexander was playing with him, but he couldn’t find the edge of the illusion. He didn’t understand what Alexander was playing at. “Where is he?” Erik pleaded, looking at Charles.

Charles closed his eyes. Erik looked around. A flicker.

Alexander appeared from thin air, standing across the room. The door next to him was just closing like he’d just stepped through it. Alexander looked around himself and kicked a piece of debris. “Impressive display of power,” Alexander said. Someone else stepped through the door, a willowy man, pale and haughty looking. He stayed a step behind Alexander, looking at everyone in the room with distrust. “Now that we’ve realised that there’s little I can’t make you do, I think it’s time we talk about my proposition,” Alexander said.

Erik’s hands drew themselves into fist and the metal around him started to draw itself to him once again. Alexander noticed this, but didn’t seem too worried by it. “We should work together,” Alexander said. “Imagine what we could achieve if we worked together. As a team.” Alexander laughed at the last word. “I like the unified front you put with the costumes. Too bad it doesn’t hold true underneath the surface.”

“You’re making it hard to get us to work together,” Erik said. “There’s no reason to trust you after these stunts you’ve pulled.”

“Ah, I don’t build my alliances on trust. Promises are so easily broken, but power is easier to follow. As long as everyone is clear that I hold power them, we’ll be able to work together just marvellously.”

“That’s where you are wrong.” Erik opened his hand, but instead of sending the metal that he’d pulled towards himself at Alexander, he drew on what lay behind the man. Alexander turned around alerted by the creaking and looked for the first time like he was taken by surprise. However, before the walls fell on top of him, the pale man next to him reached out and they disappeared from sight. Erik rushed forward, breaking the wall of metal that he’d created and pushing his way to the room behind it. He could just see Alexander come stumbling down after reappearing from the air and rain metal down on them before they disappeared again.

Erik ran through the room, but as he broke through the wall, he entered bright sunlight. Alexander was nowhere to be seen. A moment later Hank caught up with him and paused next to him. “He has a teleporter,” Erik cursed. He allowed the metal that spun in the air around them to fall down. “He was just watching us the whole time!”

Hank turned around and walked back into the house that Erik had completely wrecked at this point. Erik stared at the empty road and fields that opened in front of him. A teleporter could’ve taken Alexander wherever. There was no point in chasing after them.

Erik was angry. Angry at Alexander for running away like a coward. Angry at himself for having been fooled by Alexander illusions. It had not been like last time, the time when he’d attacked Charles. Erik had been prepared to fight against anything that would’ve encouraged him to go at Charles – and Alexander had somehow sensed that and twisted on it like a knife in a wound. Erik had possibly done the one thing that was worse than going at Charles himself by turning his hand against Raven. Raven was always between them, the way they had both failed her, the way Erik had come in between brother and sister. Charles would never forgive Erik for this.

Erik felt his whole body shook.

He’d been so determined to fix things that he’d only ended up destroying everything beyond repair.

xXx

Truth to be told, Charles didn’t know why he didn’t just leave Erik behind. Charles couldn’t meet Hanks gaze. He knew fully well that he was to blame for letting Erik come with them. This could’ve easily ended up with Erik finishing what he’d started – but it was a pale sort of comfort. Raven was angry. Charles kept out of her head, but Charles could still easily feel the rage radiating from her.

It was a mess.

They climbed back aboard the plane. Alexander was long gone. This had been nothing but a way for him to show off once more. He was truly powerful, and Charles would’ve been uneasy even without having to think about Erik and Raven in a small closed place that was made of metal.

Charles told Hank to get them back to the manor and then went to sit next to Raven. Charles saw Erik look at him, ready to say something, but Charles looked away and turned his back to him. Raven mattered now, Erik didn’t.

“Are you alright?” Charles asked softly as the engines started and their roar gave them little privacy in the small cabin. Raven had her arms crossed. There was a gash high up on her right arm that had cut through the fabric of her suit and that probably needed looking at, but Charles didn’t know if Raven would permit him to touch it.

“I’ll survive,” Raven said. She didn’t seem interested in speaking, turning to look at Charles only for a short glance.

“I’m sorry, Raven,” Charles said. “For putting you in danger like that.” He was truly sorry. He’d trusted Erik, but that wasn’t the only thing he felt guilty about. He could’ve… stopped Erik. He’d done that when Erik had attacked him because Alexander had forced him to. Charles wanted to think that he would’ve entered Erik’s mind and brought him to his knees if he’d about to kill Raven, but… He’d let things get awfully close to that, hadn’t he? If Erik hadn’t hesitated when he did, Charles wasn’t sure he’d dared to use his telepathy to save Raven.

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” Raven said. “I’ve taken care of myself, and I’ve survived worse.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Charles argued. “We are a team now. I should’ve been there to help you.”

“Like Erik was?” Raven asked. She looked at Charles again. “Why do you still trust him?”

“I don’t,” Charles replied immediately, but Raven scoffed at his words.

“It’s odd how close company you keep with someone you don’t trust,” Raven said, now glancing at Erik. Charles made sure not to follow her gaze. How much did she know? Charles feared that he must’ve shown his guilt on his face now that his mind was racing back to that one night when he’d come so close to giving in. That had been pure weakness on his side.

“Raven, you need to know that I’ll never put him before you. You are my sister,” Charles said and reached out to touch Raven now. He took hold of her hand, grasping tight. Raven allowed him to hold her hand, but she looked like she doubted Charles words. “I’ll never let anything like this happen again.”

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep,” Raven said. They were quiet for some time. The roar of the engines was softer now and there wasn’t much privacy to be had. Hank was too polite to say anything and would deny ever having heard a word he wasn’t meant to hear. Erik was sitting as far back in the cabin as was possible, but Charles didn’t look his way to find out if he was interested in hearing what Raven and Charles were talking about. Erik didn’t have any say in anything anymore.

“I liked him too, you know,” Raven said softly. Charles looked up at her. It was unlikely anyone else had heard her. “He could be cruel, but he did care for me and the others. I miss the brotherhood.”

“We can be a family again. You won’t need to go lonely.”

“I’m not so sure, Charles. We’ve all changed too much. Erik’s changed. You’ve changed. I’m different. Hanks’s pretty much the same though.” Raven smiled and so did Charles.

“Yeah, he is.”

The words ran out, but Charles held Raven’s hand. He wouldn’t let her go again. Erik, he would have to.

xXx

After they landed, Hank escorted Raven away so that he could look at her arm and other possible injuries. Erik had yet to say a single word and Charles was thankful that Erik understood that his excuses and explanations were not welcome. However, after Raven and Hank were moving away and it was just the two of them again, Charles knew that they couldn’t just ignore what had happened, no matter how much Charles wanted to postpone the inevitable.

The hangar hall was spacious and cold. It didn’t feel like a place to talk, but it was private enough. Maybe they could’ve go somewhere else, but Charles felt uneasy with going anywhere with Erik. Erik was not going to stay after this, and they both should know it.

“I’m sorry, Charles,” Erik said. He was walking closer now, Charles could hear his steps, but he didn’t turn to see his expression. It didn’t matter if he was feeling sorry, guilty, no, it was all over now.

“You should just leave.”

Erik stopped.

“I’ll kill Alexander for you. I’ll make sure that he won’t be able to hurt anyone again,” Erik said. He stood so close that Charles could feel cold shivers running up his spine when he spoke, but Charles still didn’t turn to look at him. ”Control me. Take over my mind and he won’t be able to do the same.”

“No.”

“I’m not going,” Erik said.

“You have to.”

“Not this time, no,” Erik replied.

“What makes you think you have the right to stay?” Charles asked and finally looked. Charles wasn’t sure what he’d hoped to see, but as he searched Erik’s expression for it, he didn’t find it. There was nothing to comfort him.

“I can’t walk away now. It’ll break me.”

“I don’t care! I’m tired with this, Erik. You’ve walked before without caring how much it would hurt others. How much it would hurt me! I told you already that I wouldn’t be able to take you betraying my trust again. I told you that you’d better disappear once it happened again. And it has happened again. I want you gone.”

“No. I won’t go this time. I’m going to fight you on this. And I want you to fight me,” Erik said. Something dangerous was burning within him, a madness taking hold of him. “Control me, you know you can do it. It’s the only thing that will stop Alexander from taking my dark thoughts and twisting them until I hurt someone. Fight for what you want for once.”

“I have fought for what I want!”

“No, no you haven’t. You let Raven go even though you like to blame me for it. She needed to be accepted as she was, but you didn’t listen to her. She would’ve only needed you to say that you wanted her to stay as she was and she would’ve.”

“That’s not true. I chased her away by trying to tell her what to do.”

“She wanted to be accepted. That was the only thing she needed to hear.”

“And what do you want to be told?”

“That you are willing to control me and force me to stay.”

Erik said the words with such calm that Charles didn’t know how to reply. “And what if that is not what I want?” he said finally.

“We both know that’s not true,” Erik replied.

“Such arrogance,” Charles laughed, but it was a hollow laughter that left him feeling empty. “I’m choosing my sister this time.” Charles could never force Raven to stay if Erik was around – he shouldn’t have done that in the first place. Erik had tried to kill Raven, and Charles had allowed Erik close to him anyway. Raven had been right to doubt Charles sincerity because he had been completely mad in trusting Erik as much as he had.

Erik walked around Charles so that he could kneel in front of him and so that Charles couldn’t avoid meeting his gaze. “I won’t be a danger to her if you are inside my head. She knows that. That is the best protection that she has ever had from me. Control me. Take away my free will. I’m willing to give it away.”

“Raven will never be okay with that.”

“The thought intrigues you.”

“And which one of us two was the telepath?” Charles snapped. Charles could’ve easily read Erik’s mind right now, but it wouldn’t have done a difference. Erik _was_ sincere and that was what made him so maddening. Erik believe now that he could have it all, and it wouldn’t take much to make everything go to hell again. “I want you gone,” Charles repeated. “I’ve had enough.”

Erik rose slowly up to his feet. If nothing else, Erik had always been accepted defeat with quiet dignity. He looked at Charles, waited a moment if he’d change his mind about this but when Charles remained unmoved, Erik looked towards the door. He stood still. Charles didn’t even dare to breathe. Then Erik took the first step away and the second step followed it. Charles couldn’t tear his eyes away from Erik’s back as he walked to the door, without glancing back even once.

This was it. It was over.

xXx

Charles didn’t need to explain anything to Hank or Raven. Erik had walked out of the door, and he wouldn’t be back. Charles had decided not to mope about it – clean break was what all of them had needed. What he’d needed. Everyone else had understood that one betrayal of trust was enough. Charles had needed to wait for the third time and its charm.

But it was all now over, and Charles had plenty of reasons to be happy.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Charles said with a smile to Raven. They were in the sitting room, the radio was playing quietly in the background and the fire had been lit to brighten up the autumn evening. It was cosy. Safe.

“You don’t have to pretend being cheery,” Raven replied. She sat deep in the armchair where Erik had sat just a day earlier, legs folded underneath herself. She managed to appear both younger than her age and much too old. When had she grown out of the girl that Charles thought of her? Years ago.

“I’m not pretending, Raven,” Charles replied. “You are home. It’s a lovely evening.”

“I’ve been here for a week now,” Raven replied. Her tone was dry, knowing. Charles wasn’t really fooling anyone. “You wish Erik was here too.”

“No, I don’t,” Charles said firmly. “Having you here is enough. It’s always been enough.”

Raven didn’t say anything, but the way she looked from behind the cup of tea that she’d just lifted to her lips got her point across.

“What do you want me to say? He tried to kill you. There’s no way I’d allow him to stay after that,” Charles said.

“I’m not protesting that he left,” Raven said.

“But there’s something you want to say about it? Why bring him up?”

“You need to talk about it,” Raven said. “It’s painfully obvious that you need to talk to someone, but you are busy trying to protect me from everything. I seriously doubt you’re going to talk to Hank.”

“There’s nothing to say. I’m sorry I trusted him long enough to allow him to hurt you again. That’s all there is to it,” Charles said.

“You know that Erik didn’t attack me out of his free will.”

“It’s not the first time this has happened,” Charles said. He looked over at the fire. “He’s attacked both of us before. What happened today was just the last straw. So there isn’t anything to talk about. I came to my senses slower than the rest of world.”

“And you are beating yourself up because of it,” Raven said.

“How can you be so calm about this?”

“We’ve all had to grow up. Have I forgiven Erik for what he tried to do? No. He knows it, and he kept his distance while he was here, but I think he regrets it as well. So I can’t say I need revenge right now. Besides, I might even lose if I went after him.”

“Raven,” Charles said. “I’m so sorry for not being there for you.”

She shook her head. “We’ll spend the whole night apologising if we start now.”

“No, you deserve to hear it. I am sorry for putting you in danger. I knew that Erik would turn on us at some point and it was reckless of me to endanger others while I waited for the inevitable.”

Raven didn’t say anything for a while. She took a new sip from her tea and looked at the fireplace. The light from the fire made her hair burn even brighter. She switched frequently between wearing her own skin and something more conventional the last days, but had stuck to her own blue shade ever since they’d returned from the failed mission. Charles found himself wondering if it had made difference that Erik wasn’t here anymore, and if she’d purposely kept changing from the form that Erik had always called her ‘true form’ to annoy him.

“It does feel empty without him here.”

Charles couldn’t reply. He understood completely what Raven meant, but it was a feeling that he couldn’t accept. He had not wanted Erik here, but his resolve had melted to the point where he’d found himself actually looking forward to a possible future. It had taken all the anger that Charles had felt at seeing Erik go at Raven again to give him the power to push Erik away – and now that the anger was slowly calming down he was less certain about what he’d really wanted.

Erik didn’t deserve to be forgiven. He would hurt people around him time after time, and he might regret things for a short while but not long enough to actually change. There was no future to be had.

“I wonder where we first went wrong,” Charles said and smiled a sad smile.

“Oh, that was long time ago. Who can really say anymore?”

“We’re not that old. I hope,” Charles said and got a smile out of Raven. “We’ll fight Alexander and then we’ll make sure to live for the days we’ve missed.”


	5. Chapter 5

 

Erik had never allowed himself to be helpless again after he’d learned to control his powers. If there was something he’d learned from Shaw, it was that in the end everything came down to him and him alone. There was no point in feeling sorry for oneself and telling comforting lies. He’d fought, he’d lost, and that was how it was to be. He would kill Alexander, and after that was done, he would move on. The fight for the mutants was far from over.

Alexander might’ve made a formidable ally, if it weren’t for his hunger of power. It was unfortunate, because had Erik met Alexander at a better time and had Alexander not immediately tried to intimidate Erik into submission, the two of them might’ve worked well together. Alexander must’ve realised early on that Erik wasn’t willing to be made into a tool for someone else – and thought that Erik would understand power, and that he would bow before someone greater.

Alexander had made one terrible mistake, though. His threat had only ever been targeted at people around Erik. Now that Erik had been cut of the others, he had nothing to fear.

Although Erik wasn’t afraid of Alexander, he couldn’t shake a nagging doubt that was gnawing at his bones as he walked the streets of New York now. He’d travelled across the world with no-one and nothing to return to. He’d survived through hell. He knew he was strong, so much stronger than the people around him. He didn’t doubt that he’d survive this fight, no. He doubted only who he’d be once this battle was over.

Erik had been honest when he’d said that he would gladly release all control over to Charles. The simple thought of letting go felt so good that it left an aching pain after itself. Now, Erik had to control himself better than he’d ever controlled himself before. He was drawing together, tensing up, building an armour out of his skin.

He would fight.

He would draw Alexander out and he would show who of them was stronger for once and all, and he knew just the trick to get Alexander to stop playing hide and seek.

Alexander had wanted to take Erik’s mantle, to become a champion for the mutant kind. He would never succeed, because that position was already taken. Erik would not bow down easily, whatever Alexander thought.

Everything was in motion already. Erik had dressed up for the occasion and as he walked down the street, people were noticing him and slowly the buzz was gathering momentum. At a busy crossing he stepped out onto the street from the sidewalk and started walking in the middle of the road, pushing cars aside and opening a pathway for himself.

Soon enough, Alexander would hear his invitation. Erik looked straight forward and ignored the gawking eyes.

When Erik saw water glint at the distance, he pushed against the magnetic field of the earth and lifted himself of the ground, marvelling at the feeling of absolute control. This was how it was supposed be – clear, controlled, completely devoid of emotions, simple. He was nothing but a conduit for the magnetic fields of the earth, vibrating with power that would take Alexander down for once and all.

No rage, no anger. Just a single-minded determination.

Erik landed onto the shore and walked the rest of the way, smiling as people moved away from him. Tourists were running away in terror. People who could fly, people who could appear from thin air, human kind could never marvel mutants because they were too busy being scared of them. Erik kept walking. He walked all the way to the end of the open stretch and looked up to see the Statue of Liberty rising in front of him. It had been a while since he’d stood here.

Erik pointed a hand towards the torch and allowed himself to be pulled up by the magnetic fields. He soon found himself on level with the crown and sat down at the edge of the crown, looking at the city spread in front of him.

Now, all he needed to do was wait.

Erik leaned back. The wind here might’ve pushed someone else down, but Erik was anchored securely thanks to the mass of metal that he held his hand against. He felt calm as he watched the city in front of him. He’d thought about heading back to Europe after the Trask incident, but he’d hesitated and hid away in the countryside instead. Europe was far away and he’d been afraid that it wouldn’t take long before he’d end up bounding back like a ship brought back the tide waves. Even though he had decided not to cross the see, like a ship, he hadn’t been able to keep on course and had crashed onto the shore. His life was a forgotten wreckage at these shores.

After Alexander had been taken care off, Erik would begin again and wander far away from these shores not to return. There was nothing keeping him here. America had been a safe haven only in his dreams. The reality had left him fighting for a government that had been quick to discard him when they grew afraid. Erik had been punished for crimes he’d not committed in the land of the just, and incarcerated in the land of the free.

It didn’t take long, maybe an hour, before Erik heard a soft shuffling sound from behind himself. Having a teleport sure was useful, Erik mused as he slowly rose up to his feet before turning around.

Erik drew his fingers together and tugged at the metal around himself. The statue itself was a huge cocoon of metal that he could control at his will, but all around there were smaller sources that he could draw on. Cruise boats. Metal fences. Metal benches. There were few places where there were no metal for him to manipulate. He felt the metal tingling at his fingertips, but made no move to attack. Yet.

Alexander was not trying to impersonate him even though he still wore the helmet. Erik smiled. Without a costume to hide under, Alexander was very average and would’ve been lost into a crowd easily. He wondered for a moment if that was Alexander was underneath, someone who would disappear if it were not for his mutant power.

“I see you are without your team.” Alexander’s voice was pleasant, his act confident. He looked slightly uneasy to be standing high up on the head of the statue, but stood bravely without holding onto anything. “Have you thought over my offer of alliance?”

“I don’t do well with being commanded,” Erik replied. “You are not the first one to think they could bend me to their will.”

“Are you sure?” Alexander asked. Erik waited for it – There. Yes. Alexander was trying to bend Erik’s will, but now Erik could without any trouble at all brush aside the simple suggestion to bend down in front of Alexander.

“I don’t think so.” Erik brought one hand in front of himself, fingers still pressed together, and opened them up, fast. A strip of metal from the torch tore itself free and then the bolts it had been bolted together with shot through the air, cutting across the air. Erik didn’t for a moment let his eyes move from Alexander and he saw the moment his confidence faltered, right before he momentarily disappeared when the teleporter moved him out of harm’s way. “Is this how you fight? Hiding and running?” Erik taunted and turned around, arms spread. Come at me. Fight.

Alexander reappeared, the teleporter standing right behind him, a hand outstretched and tightly holding Alexander’s arm. “That is not necessary,” Alexander said. He spoke slowly, trying to command Erik.

For a moment Erik hesitated. Did Alexander need to die? Yes. He had crossed the line from a useful ally to an annoyance a long time ago. The true problem right now was the teleporter. Erik let his arms fall and opened his hands. He smiled. Alexander’s hold over him was weak when there was nothing to distract him.

“Tell me. Why the rouse? How did you get to my helmet?”

“The helmet is truly a marvellous thing,” Alexander said. “All I needed to do was to ask for it. It’s interesting what kind of things people do for me. I wanted to meet you so I went to the scene of the destruction. I asked for you, but the police at the scene had nothing more to give me than what you’d discarded and left behind. It’s very simple to show people who they want to see. You’re quite famous, you know. Banks want to be robbed by famous people. All I needed to do was to walk there and give them a suggestion. All kinds of doors open for the right image.”

“Sounds like you have no use for allies,” Erik noted dryly.

“Well, there are limits to suggestions,” Alexander said, but didn’t elaborate more. “We could do much together, you and me.”

“I’m afraid that option has become unavailable after you attacked… people I hold dear.”

“I’ve not laid a hand on anyone,” Alexander said. “And neither will anyone have to, if we can come to an agreement.”

“I don’t take being threatened too well either,” Erik said. He found the iron bolts that he’d discarded earlier and applied pressure on them, grinding them to the point where they broke down onto dust. Alexander looked around and the teleporter held tight of his arm now, ready to act. The metal particles shone in the sunlight.

“There’s no need to do anything you’d regret,” Alexander said. Erik could once again feel Alexander trying to manipulate him. This time the suggestion wasn’t a soft nudge to a direction, but almost an outright command. _Don’t kill Alexander. Don’t kill him. He is valuable ally._

“Ah, but it’s not you I’m after,” Erik said and allowed the glittering dust shoot through the air. The teleporter reached out, but not fast enough. Some of the particles reached him before he and Alexander disappeared away. Erik called the shimmering metal left in the air to himself, turning it into spheres of metal that he left orbiting above his hand.

Erik closed his eyes. He felt the air. Somewhere in the air he could feel pieces of metal that were too tiny to be nothing else than the metal dust he’d created. There. Tugging metal that moved fast through the air, marking the teleporter clearly visible for Erik even when he couldn’t follow him with his eyes.

Soft shuffling sound told Erik that Alexander had dared to re-appear. “This is pointless. We’ve both demonstrated that we are powerful mutants. The humans are going to win if we fight each other,” Alexander said. He was not as confident as he’d been just moments ago. The teleporter stood behind Alexander for just a moment before he disappeared again. Fearing for his own safety. Wise, but futile.

Erik smiled at Alexander and waited until he found the metal again. Far below him, out of sight, but it wasn’t a problem. Erik felt the surrounding air for something that he would be able to manipulate. It was heavy, plate of metal, something or other that would serve Erik’s purpose magnificently. “I hope you have a backup plan,” Erik said as he drew on the metal. There was a barely audible creek and a thump and somewhere there between an abruptly cut scream.

Alexander realised what had happened slightly after Erik. He moved backwards, the confident mask now slipping. They were now circling each other, Erik smiling as Alexander moved back when he got a step closer. Then, Alexander looked at Erik, thinking, hesitating, deciding to hold firmly his ground and straighten his posture and finding courage to face him. “I’m sure we can reach an arrangement. Maybe there is something I could do for you? Someone who’d need to rethink their opinion on you?”

It was obviously Alexander’s last hope and lifeline, but Erik couldn’t stop himself from imagining what he could do with Alexander’s powers. Past mistakes wiped clean, truces made and years and years of distance conquered with a simple suggestion. It felt wrong, but also so very right. Erik had suffered enough. He didn’t have to repent and be punished all over again for something that was not truly his fault.

Panic flashed through Erik even before he understood what was happening. He stumbled backwards, needing to go out to the edge and look down. From this high up, the people down on the ground where nothing but smudges, but still, Erik knew what he was seeing.

For a moment, he hoped that he was just imagining it, but then he knew that everything that he’d had so tightly under his control was slipping away like sand through his fingers. Charles was here, and so was Mystique, and Hank and a ragtag team of teenagers that would turn into collateral damage the moment Alexander took over one of them. They would reach them any moment now. What was Charles doing, bringing so many easy targets for Alexander to use? It was madness.

Erik felt rage flaring within himself. He would not be made into the villain now. But what could he do? He’d not been able to stop himself before.

Erik turned to Alexander to finish this before he lost his chance, but as looked the teleporter reappeared, holding his stomach and looking pale and in pain, and reached out to Alexander and teleported them away. Alexander had used the moment of distraction and had fled. Erik cried out in frustration and sent the metal spheres that had been dancing around him flying. His aim was off, his concentration taken away by the appearance of the others. He backed out to the edge again and stepped over it, carrying his own weight down. The teleporter couldn’t have carried Alexander far – there had been a significant bloodstain where the man had stood for just a moment. Erik would find Alexander before he got to the others and turned the tables back to his advantage.

This was why Erik fought alone.

xXx

“ _Something is definitely happening in New York. The mutant problem is truly getting out of hand here. Just now someone was seen walking right through the air, causing numerous accidents. They seem to be headed for the Statue of Liberty. We are still not sure what they want, but it can’t be anything good, can it?”_

Hank had walked to Charles’ office and turned the radio on. He turned the volume down now and looked at Charles. “He didn’t really wait, did he?”

Charles wanted to point out that he still wasn’t responsible for Erik’s actions, but he held his tongue. Hank wasn’t blaming him, not really, and Charles was just as irritable as Hank was. It felt like they’d been in this situation countless of times already. Had the last week even mattered? Erik was once again – or still – on warpath and Alexander hadn’t been defeated. Charles sighed and then looked up at Hank. It had always been foolish of him to think that he could stay away when Erik was concerned. “So we stop him. It’s not any different from Alexander. If there’s a mutant out there that is going to do damage to mutant-human relations, we stop them.”

“We’re not much of a team right now,” Hank said. He hesitated.

“Were we any more prepared back when we met the first time?”

“No, I guess not.”

“You, me and Raven. We can handle this.” Charles smiled as Hank seemed to grow taller with the confidence he now found within himself. “How fast can we get there?”

“Ah. We can take a car to the airport. We should be able to get our hands on a plane that can land on water. Then we can fly right to the Ellis Island.”

“Let’s do it.” The door behind Hank flew open and Raven stepped in. She looked ready to go and had said the words with a firm determination. She must’ve caught most of their conversation. “What are we waiting for? News like this are going to be like a beacon to Alexander. We need to hurry if we want to catch up with both of them. Alexander is sure to do his disappearing trick the moment he feels he’s lost control.”

“After you,” Charles said and showed the way with his hand. Raven turned around and Hank hurried after her. They would do just fine. Hank could be trusted and Raven knew what she wanted; Alexander wouldn’t know what hit him. Facing Erik, though, would never be easy.

xXx

The time it took for them to reach Ellis Island felt too long, but there was not much more they could’ve done to speed their way. Hank piloted the plane in silence as usual and Raven changed skins, looking ready to jump at any sound, eager to get at Alexander this time. Charles felt uneasy, but kept his fears to himself as he watched out of the window, waiting to see the landmarks of the New York skyline.

They might be too late. Alexander had never stuck around for longer than a few minutes and it had been over an hour since the news broadcast had alerted them to the situation. Charles spied ahead with his mind, hoping to pick up something reassuring. When the Statue of Liberty appeared in the horizon and quickly grew bigger and the dots on the ground turned into trees and people, Charles gave his all to get a hold of the situation. Something was going on, alright. A place that was usually crowded with people on a nice day like this was almost deserted. Not completely, no, there were people huddled at the shores of the island, trying to stay out of the way and what looked like a police force, holding their ground at the other side of the island, standing between it and the city.

“I’m taking us down now. Get ready,” Hank called.

Raven stood up and moved to windows, holding tight to the backrest of a seat. Charles watched how effortlessly she changed her weight from one feet to the other to adjust her balance as the plane shook on their way down. Charles glanced down at the wheelchair he sat and felt its metal surface - over where the days when he could jump up right into action.

He would adjust. Just as he would adjust to the situation with Erik. He just needed a bit more time. The last week and half had seen his emotions dragged all over the place. Whatever conclusion he’d gotten from sending Erik finally away threatened to unravel now that he was on his way to face Erik again. What if this was it? Erik was to be the villain and Charles would side with whoever fought against him. Would their disagreements forever lead to them meeting at a battlefield?

The plane shook when it hit the water, then jumped once more before slowly gliding to something of a stop. Hank steered it closer to the shore, but as Raven pushed the door open, Charles couldn’t help but wonder what he’d thought when he’d agreed to join on this mission. There was a pier, and the plane was almost next to it, but there was still a gap that Charles wouldn’t be able to jump.

Raven didn’t hesitate. She was out of the plane with one controlled leap and turned around immediately after landing. “Come on, are they still here?”

Charles scanned the island, picking up stray voices. “I think so,” he called out to Raven. “I can’t pick Alexander, but people are afraid. And confused.”

Hank climbed out of the cockpit and came to Charles. “I can carry you to the shore,” he said, but there was a clear, unspoken, ‘ _if you want me to’._ Charles could stay behind. His telepathic range covered this island.

For a moment Charles actually thought about staying behind. He wouldn’t actually have to get close and it might be easier for him to… focus if he wouldn’t need to meet Erik face to face. There was thousands of things that could go horribly wrong, though, and Charles might not be able to react in time if he stayed behind and so he nodded.

Hank was stronger than he looked, and Charles knew it. It felt, nevertheless, weird to be moved from the plane to the pier like he weighed nothing. Maybe he had really grown thinner – even Erik hadn’t struggled with carrying him around. It paid off to have mutant friends around that could fill in where Charles own powers drew short. Erik wouldn’t have had any troubles with helping Charles around as long as his chair was made of metal.

Charles banished that thought and followed Raven and Hank to the shore. Hank moved in Charles’ pace, but Raven was running as fast as she could. There had been a time when Charles would’ve commanded Raven to be careful and stick to the group, but now he only had to trust her to know what she was doing. Speed was their advantage. They had to get to Alexander and his helmet before he got inside their heads or decided to bolt again.

Even from far off, it was impossible not to see the damage the island had suffered. It looked like a storm wind had torn and broken what was metal to pieces, walls had been pounded by metal, cracked at places; A battle had been fought, but of those who’d taken part in it, there was no sign of.

Raven ran ahead of them, but stopped just short of the main building. There had been a sound, a sickening crush, but Charles wasn’t sure what had happened. The Statue of the Liberty cast a shadow over them now and Charles had to get closer before he could see what it was that had made Raven pause and wait for them. When he got close enough to understand, a flash of panic shot through him before he realised that it was not Erik; it was someone else. Someone who was very much dying.

He was paler now than what he’d been when they’d briefly met a few days ago. The heavy metal plate that had pinned him to the ground and cut through him didn’t really leave it into a question who’d done this. The man was breathing if fighting for every breath and he was too pale, grey, hardly here anymore. His consciousness was clearly failing, and he didn’t react to their presence. There wasn’t anything to be done and although it pained, Chares looked away.

Alexander was without a teleporter, and Erik was putting up a fight.

But why was the island eerily silent?

There was one answer Charles didn’t want to consider.

Charles pushed forward. He hadn’t gotten too far away from Hank and Raven before a pair of policemen came running to him. “You need to get out of here,” one of them yelled, pointing at the direction they’d come from.

“There’s a man back there who needs your help,” Charles said. He looked around. He needed to find Alexander and Erik. One of the men nodded and continued past Charles towards Hank and Raven. The other, however, stopped next to Charles and looked extremely worried.

“Sir, this is not a place for you. We’ll help the man back there, rest assured, but you should really get away from the statue before you get hurt.”

Charles looked up and despite it being everything but logical, his heart felt lighter. _Erik._ He looked back down and smiled his best reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I’m not a fragile as I look. My team is better suited to deal with this situation than you. So, just step back and make sure to stay out of the way.”

It didn’t look like the man understood, but when he saw Raven and Hank moving towards them – Raven now blue and Hank in a mishmash stage between the body he had when he took the serum and the furry beast within – he took a step backwards.

Raven had obviously picked on what Charles had said, because she smiled brightly and said, “X-men at your service.” The words she accompanied with a mock salute.

Charles felt so much lighter for knowing that Erik was most likely still alive and so happy to see Raven so confident and strong that he almost laughed then. He managed to hold it in though, hiding it behind a smile that he shared with Raven. “Raven, the statue. Alexander doesn’t have a teleporter with him so he’s trapped.”

Raven started running towards the statue and Hank gave Charles one last glance before he too left. However, everyone froze when there was a sudden yelp from the policeman that had gone to help the teleport. Raven paused, Hank and Charles both turned to look at the police who had stumbled and sat on the ground now, looking shocked. “He just disappeared!” he cried. “I tried to get him out of there and then he just disappeared!”

Charles looked up at the statue, reaching with his mind, trying to see inside the metal shell. The teleport could’ve gone wherever, but if he’d gone to Alexander… As Charles looked higher up, at the torch and the crowned head, he saw someone step out and float in the air. There were not many mutants that flew with that kind of cold determination.

Erik was moving downwards, fast, a hand outstretched in front of himself. He was clearly looking for someone, and Charles knew he’d gotten his confirmation. The teleporter had used what energy he’d had left to get to Alexander and now Erik was trying to hunt him down.

It was hopeless. Alexander and the teleport could’ve gone anywhere.

Charles searched for the teleport with his mind. Alexander was shielded, but a dying teleporter wouldn’t know how to close him out. It wasn’t easy to sort through the scared people that hadn’t been able to get away from this. Charles needed just a quick touch before he jumped onto the next mind, searching for someone who saw Alexander, who knew what was going on, who was in pain – the pain was greater than Charles had been prepared for. He gasped aloud and Hank spun around.

“I found the teleporter. It’s a big hall.”

“Main building,” Hank replied and was on his way.

Charles moved as fast as he could, but he was falling behind. He didn’t stop, though, and pushed on. The teleporter wasn’t moving anymore, his mind was slowing down. Charles didn’t dare to stay with him anymore – he’d been with someone until the moment that they died and he never needed to experience that again.

Hank had disappeared through the door into the main building and Raven was following at his heels when Charles heard the sound of someone stepping down onto the gravel not far behind himself. He turned around to see Erik, and Erik saw him.

“Stay behind. Tell the kids to get away. I’ll take care of this,” Erik said and walked past him with easy, long strides.

“Erik! Wait.”

Erik spun around. “Get everyone out of here! The students are only going to get in the way!”

“Even if I told Hank or Raven to back off, they won’t do it,” Charles said. He kept his voice calm, trying to get Erik to slow down. “And I didn’t take any students with me.”

Erik paled now. He darted a look at the building that loomed in front of them and then back. “I can’t keep Alexander out of my head. You need to get everyone away. Otherwise, I can’t take responsibility for the consequences. Do it! We don’t have time to lose.”

“Erik, you shouldn’t go after him alone.” _It shouldn’t end up like this,_ his mind added helpfully.

“That’s the best option we have,” Erik said and turned his back to Charles and started running.

Charles hurried after Erik. He couldn’t catch up with him, but he was determined not to be left behind this time. He tried to call Erik to stop once more, but Erik didn’t listen. Erik pushed the door open violently with his powers and its hinges cried out as they gave up. Charles hurried in after Erik and paused at the doorway.

It was a great hall, shadowy at places, but the sunlight was shining onto the central floor. The teleporter lay in the middle of the room, face down, looking discarded. Hank was kneeling next to him, holding a hand to check on his pulse. Charles didn’t need see Hank shake his head to know that the man had died. What had motivated him to put his own life before Alexander’s would remain a mystery.

Raven appeared onto the walkway on the second floor and she saw Erik immediately. Erik must’ve noticed her as well but didn’t seem to care. He was looking around at the first floor and held a hand in front of himself, searching for something that couldn’t be seen.

“I can’t sense Alexander,” Charles said aloud.

“I can,” Erik replied. He walked further in the room, looking still around. Then he seemed to have found what he’d been looking for because he smiled. “There.”

Charles couldn’t see anything even when he stared at the corner that Erik was now approaching. There were pillars in way, tables, everything was in shadow. Hank was up to his feet now and was carefully watching what Erik was up to. Charles glanced up to see Raven move further back, watching out for Erik. The whole room was filled with tense energy.

There was a flicker and Charles cried out in warning.

Erik ripped the metal out of the walls and turned them into spears that he cast without hesitation towards the corner, turning the corner into a forest of spikes.

Erik hadn’t been fast enough, because Charles could see a second flicker, not far away from where he’d seen Alexander just a moment before. “There!” he cried and pointed. Both Hank and Erik turned to look. Then there were a second flicker, an image of Alexander, another. Charles spun around, but he couldn’t say what had been real and what had been a figment of imagination. He turned to look inside his own mind, shielding himself from the telepathic touch. It was difficult: whenever he thought he’d finally seen a glimpse of Alexander, the image of him seemed to appear, no matter how much he tried to focus on keeping external thoughts out of his mind. It was like Alexander was playing with his hopes – he wanted to find the man, and so he found him in every shadow and every corner.

Charles looked at Erik and was surprised to see him standing still, hands at his sides, eyes closed. The still moment lasted just a heartbeat and then Erik opened his eyes and rained metal on another wall, and there was another flash of Alexander. This time Charles wanted to believe that it had been the real thing and not a hopeful wish.

Erik moved closer, throwing metal that he picked from the building around himself, chasing this image of Alexander, cornering him, moving in for the kill.

Charles could feel it before it happened.

Alexander, standing his back against the wall,

Erik raising his hand to give the killing blow,

Hank running towards both of them to help in the fight

– and Erik turned around, the killing blow now aimed at Hank and hitting him the moment Hank leaped in the air. Hank hit the wall with a sickening lurch and a piece of metal pinned his shoulder to the wooden surface. He growled in pain.

“Stay away!” Erik cried. “Don’t try stopping me.”

Alexander had used this moment to slither away. Charles looked around, searching, trying to find him, pushing the thought of _Hank getting hurt_ away from his conscious mind. Erik was pulling the spears of metal out of the wall and shooting them across the room wherever he thought he’d seen Alexander.

It was madness. Alexander could slip out at any moment. Charles couldn’t do anything! Why couldn’t he do anything to make a change? Whatever he tried, always ended with everything slipping through his fingers like sand. The feeling of desperation was only growing stronger as he watched the room breaking apart in front of himself.

Raven leaped down from the second floor and hit Erik in the back. Erik fell, then tried to spun around and get Raven of her. She was a fierce fighter, however, and more than capable of keeping her own. She pinned Erik down on the ground.

“Why don’t you try taking over my mind!” Charles cried to the room. It was painfully obvious that Alexander was once again turning them against each other.

“Because you’d see right through it.”

Alexander stepped out from the shadow of a pillar. He was holding his arm, but was still looking confident. He glanced at Erik and Raven, who were still trying to fight each other off, like they presented no danger to him.

Raven had her hands now around Erik’s throat, one feet pinning Erik’s hand to the floor. It wasn’t enough to stop Erik, however, and with a free hand he pulled a heavy metal file cabinet at them and used it to throw Raven against a pillar. Raven was back to her feet and Erik was pushing himself up – and then Alexander reached out with his hand and crooked his finger. Erik looked up, startled, and turned to look at Alexander, everything else forgotten.

Alexander walked across the room – time seemed to stand still – and when he reached Erik, he placed his hand on Erik’s shoulder. Erik’s confusion turned dark and he turned his head so that he could see Raven again.

This time, Raven didn’t stand a chance. Erik bound her fast against the pillar with metal pipes before she could roll away. She clawed at the restraints and was changing forms to slither away, but for the moment she was stuck.

Alexander stepped away just so that Erik could get up to his feet, but then he moved back closer, stood right behind Erik and placed both his hands against Erik’s temples. Erik stood still. Alexander looked right at Charles. “You should’ve learned by now that I’m going to win,” Alexander said.

He leaned closer as if to whisper something to Erik, but when he spoke, the words were for Charles. “Kneel for me.”

Charles felt nauseous down to his stomach. This was a macabre show of power that Charles had no taste for. No. He didn’t want to see this, and he didn’t want to allow this to happen, but he couldn’t look away.

Erik stood still.

Charles stared. Alexander might’ve tried to hide the uncertainty that he felt within his helmet, but he hadn’t been able to keep Charles from noticing how his brow wrinkled. He hadn’t expected Erik to fight back like this.

Charles placed two fingers against his temple and looked straight into Erik’s eyes. Ten long years since he’d felt he had the right to step into Erik’s mind, but Erik presented no resistance. Charles was immediately assaulted by Alexander’s presence. It was foreign, demanding, telling him to kneel, telling him to accept that Alexander would be the one to lead them when they fought for the mutant kind. The brotherhood could be reborn if only Alexander would be given what he wanted.

Erik was having none of it. How much Alexander pushed against Erik’s mind, he wouldn’t kneel. He was too proud. Charles knew that proudness and he’d seen it and he’d hated it and he’d loved it. Erik was confused, but he knew what he wanted – and that was what had stopped Alexander in his tracks. Erik couldn’t see any reason for himself to bow before Alexander. To attack Raven – yes. She was dangerous, she had a revenge to get. Hank had been running at him and stopping him was just an act of self-preservation. But allowing Alexander to take over his mind was so deeply wrong that Erik wasn’t going to consent to it how much Alexander pushed.

It was just a soft whisper that Charles allowed to form within their shared consciousness. Erik’s mind opened up for him with that touch and Charles knew that if he’d told Erik to kneel, he would’ve, without hesitation fallen to his knees.

 _I said so much_.

Charles smiled even though he could’ve just as easily cried for this was the first time in long time that he felt completely at ease. He knew his way through now. He took over Erik’s mind, allowing himself to spread along his nervous system to his limbs, moving Erik’s hands like they were his own. It was a marvellous feeling to see the hands raise up, look at them through Erik’s eyes. He could feel the metal in the air, he could feel the magnetism of the earth drawing at him.

Alexander let go his touch, but time was moving slowly for all of them. Erik turned around and reached out with his hand. He placed it on top of the helmet Alexander wore and pressed down. Charles let go of his control an became nothing but a passenger – Erik had shaken Alexander out of his system – but he could feel everything that Erik felt as he took the metal of the helmet and forced it to cave in.

Alexander fell to the ground, dead. Erik stood still, watching down at the man. Charles stepped out of Erik’s mind and allowed the world to flood back in.

It was over.

Erik turned to look at Charles. His expression was difficult to read; there was a glint of happiness beneath the melancholy exhaustion. Charles moved closer, but Erik looked away immediately. He lifted his arm and used his powers to draw out the piece of metal that had pinned Hank the wall and Hanks fell down, grunting in pain. Erik let Raven go without even looking at her.

For a moment, Charles feared that Raven might go at Erik, but she moved quickly away and then dashed to Hank.

“I better leave now,” Erik said. He was looking at the door, avoiding Charles’ gaze.

Charles moved until he was right in front of Erik. He’d hesitated enough, spent too much time searching for an answer that was right and just, but the world wasn’t just and what he wanted wasn’t right. He was tired of fighting a fight that there was a chance he didn’t have to fight. Maybe Erik didn’t have to be the villain, and Charles seriously doubted he could be the hero. They were both fighting for the same cause and they could be fighting for it side by side, just as they had today. Charles reached into Erik’s mind. It was just a suggestion, but Erik kneeled immediately and Charles could lean his head against Erik’s and hold his hands on Erik’s temples.

 _I’m sorry._ Charles whispered within their shared mind. _I don’t know who I was punishing by pushing you away. I wanted you to suffer just as you’ve made me suffer and I wanted to be hurt because I failed all of you. I know now that I didn’t give either of us the chance to be forgiven._

Erik’s mind was filled with raw, ugly thoughts – anger, self-pity that had been locked away for so long, jealousy – but Charles didn’t try to push them away. He knew he had his share of dark thoughts. He’d blamed Erik for so much, and yet he’d been able to blame himself for the same things. All the mistakes they’d made. There were so many. They’d lost so many years already.

There were no new beginnings for them.

They would never be young and unscarred again.

They didn’t have to, not in order to have this.

They could have this.

 _I know we are always going to have our disagreements._ Charles allowed his eyes to close as he let the thoughts flow freely. _And I also know that no matter what we do, we will end up meeting again. Everything has always gone to hell after we’ve allowed our disagreements to push us apart. We can never get a clean beginning, but I’m tired of making that same mistake again and again._

“I’m the only one who can control you,” Charles said aloud. The words were a private whisper, but he needed to say them aloud to make them real. “The only thing I’m willing to force upon you is to tell you to stay.”

“You hate the thought,” Erik replied, but Charles could feel the hope that Erik felt and it was painful and it was good.

No. He didn’t hate the thought. He’d loved the thought when he’d realised that Alexander had no power over Erik when Charles could take over without resistance. It was not the power that he wanted – it was the trust that Erik had in him, after all these mistakes, all these years. And whatever Charles had said, he did trust Erik. He didn’t trust Erik to always agree with him and he didn’t trust Erik to make the decisions that he would’ve taken himself, but he did trust Erik.

It had been a mistake to keep Erik at an arm’s length, a mistake that could’ve once again cost Raven’s life or Hank’s or Erik’s own for the matter. If Charles would’ve been ready to protect Erik’s mind from Alexander’s influence from the start, they wouldn’t have had to be play along for this long.

 _Don’t leave me._ And that was an order.

The wave of relief and hope and anticipation that they shared was so strong that Charles hardly felt it when Erik leaned in and kissed him.

 

xXx

“How’s Raven?” Erik asked.

Charles closed the door slowly behind himself. It was late, he was tired, and it felt like a miracle that they’d somehow all gotten home – including Erik – and that the day was finally ending. The fire was still crackling but otherwise the house was quiet. “I honestly don’t have the energy to even talk about it.”

“I can always go,” Erik said. “This is her home, and if she needs time to-“

“No. You’re not going anywhere,” Charles said firmly. “I’m not going through any of this again.”

“And what about her? Did you manage to convince her to stay?”

Charles moved closer now and nodded. “She is not happy with me, but she agreed to wait and see if I’ve completely lost my mind.”

Erik got up as Charles moved past him to get closer to the fire. Charles half expected him to leave, still not believing that Erik might be here to stay now, and was therefore startled when Erik placed his hands on his shoulders. The simple touch felt like a jolt of electricity had shot itself along Charles’ spine and his lower body tingled with ghost pain. Erik’s hands were warm and his touch seemed to ground Charles to the spot. Just like that, Charles realised that he could finally breathe out.

Erik leaned so close that his lips brushed Charles’ ear when he spoke. “I’m glad you want me to stay,” he said and Charles found himself answering the smile he’d heard in the words.

Charles turned around and reached out with his hand to pull Erik down for a kiss. Obviously surprised by Charles’ eagerness, Erik almost stumbled and fell into Charles’ lap as his balance shifted forward, but he managed to steady himself with a grip on the back of the wheelchair just in time. They’d waited long enough for this, Charles thought as his finger twined themselves into Erik’s hair and he heard the soft murmur of appreciation that Erik let escape. He wasn’t going to let go any time soon. He’d learned his lesson.

Their breathing was quickly getting obscenely rushed, and it was Erik who finally pulled them apart. His eyes were burning and his smile all teeth. Charles had to steal one more kiss before he could calm down enough to meet Erik’s eyes and the intention behind that shone clear as day, even without Charles looking into Erik’s mind.

“My room is closer,” was all that Charles needed to say.

The pain that had sat tight in Charles’ chest these last weeks had not gone anywhere, but it was turning into a good kind of pain now, one that made all sensations so much stronger that Charles could hardly make the short journey to his room. He felt almost giddy when he opened the door, and completely breathless as Erik pushed him back against it and kissed him again once they were safely inside.

“Help me to the bed,” Charles asked. He could’ve made it himself, but any proximity was good and Charles was not about to wait any longer.

Erik lifted Charles up from the chair and placed him carefully down on the bed, and then followed him onto it. He crawled on top of Charles and looked down at him, the desire clear in his eyes before an uncertainty took over him. “I don’t know how to-“ Erik said and Charles only had to softly touch Erik’s cheek and tap onto his mind to know that he meant what to do about his paralysis.

“Don’t worry about it,” Charles said. _I’ll guide you._ He caressed Erik’s face, smiling as Erik allowed the simple touch. It was a wondrous feeling. He’d thought about this many times and so it felt unreal to actually be able to feel warm skin underneath his fingers.

Erik sat up and picked the edge of his shirt and pulled the shirt over his head. Charles admired the view as Erik revealed more and more of his skin, his heart fluttering in anticipation, and he allowed his hands to run along Erik’s torso, loving the shivers that his touch caused.

The shirt discarded somewhere on the floor, Erik leaned back down and kissed Charles’ lips softly, then placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth, then his neck and after unfastening one of the buttons of Charles’ shirt, on his collarbone. Erik worked his way through the buttons one at a time as he moved downwards along Charles' chest, almost meticulous at his movements, worshipping the skin he revealed. His hands trailed along Charles’ sides down towards his hips, but then came a moment when he suddenly grew still. Hesitantly, Erik’s fingers touched the edge of the cut that ran along Charles’ side. The skin was still very sensitive, but Charles fought the instinct to pull away. Erik’s touch was very light and gentle as he traced the half healed wound with his fingers.

“I’m sorry,” Erik said after a while.

“If we start apologising now, we’ll never get anywhere. And I for one have something in mind,” Charles replied. He smiled. His heart felt lighter now that he’d given himself the permission to forgive things that probably should’ve been unforgiveable. Erik was sorry and that was enough, and Charles hadn’t really needed to hear the words said aloud to know it, not anymore.

Charles opened his mind and invited Erik in. He allowed Erik to see what he thought and he could hear what Erik felt in response – it was all wonderfully confusing and overwhelming, and yet, everything became simpler now. Charles only needed to think about something and Erik would know what he needed and wanted. Although no gesture was really needed anymore, to tell Erik that he should hurry up and get undressed, Charles reached down with his hand and brushed against Erik’s cock through his pants. The intense feeling of pleasure and anticipation that echoed through Erik’s mind with the touch was something Charles hadn’t been prepared for and he let out a soft breath of surprise and pleasure of his own.

Erik stepped of the bed, standing on shakier legs than usual, and pulled his trousers down hastily. Charles did his best to slither out of his own clothes, but he’d hardly gotten his belt loose when Erik climbed back onto the bed and readily helped Charles to undress, a predatory grin on his face. When both of them were finally completely naked, Erik was already hard and as he climbed back on top of Charles, Charles felt his cock nudge his hip.

Charles reached down between them again and could this time wrap his hand around Erik’s cock. The touch made Erik move almost involuntarily backwards and then closer again, allowing Charles’ hand to move along the length. Erik’s eyes fluttered close and his breathing turned shallower.

Erik moved again and Charles made sure to twist his hand just a little and judging from Erik’s vibrating growl, it was appreciated. “All those years - - trying to prove - - that we can’t work - - side by side,” Erik breathed between the thrusts. There was a smile to his voice and when he looked up that predatory grin of his made it hard for Charles to focus.

“I seriously hope we were wrong,” Charles replied and pulled Erik in for an uncoordinated kiss. Physical pleasure mixed up with emotional relief was an intoxicating combination that made Charles crave more of everything. He needed Erik closer. He wanted to disappear into the simple pleasure of existing in this moment of clarity.

Erik pulled back and moved further down the bed. Charles could hear Erik’s intentions in his thoughts and the eagerness in his thoughts made the short wait almost unendurable. Charles knew he’d gotten lucky with his injury as he’d not had any major problems with getting hard, but the way his cock twitched and ached as Erik moved so close that Charles could feel his breath on his skin was something completely else.

When Erik placed a tentative kiss on the head of Charles’ cock. Charles couldn’t help a shaky breath from escaping. His emotions had run up and down the whole day and this… this was twisting his insides into knots that would never unravel again. Erik opened his lips more and took Charles’ cock into his mouth and the warmth and the pressure made Charles’ close his eyes and lean his head back.

He should’ve been curious enough to ask for this a long time ago. Erik obviously heard the thought and laughed deep in his throat and Charles felt the vibrations of the laughter.

One of Erik’s hands held tightly at Charles’ hip, his fingers pressing with bruising power into Charles’ skin, the other hand Erik used to work himself. When Erik struggled with the pace, Charles knew he was getting to the edge; and none too soon. Charles whole body ached and he was ready to find release somewhere. Charles touched Erik’s shoulder and asked him to move closer; when Erik moved up to kiss Charles, they were both breathing hard and the kiss was just a simple touch of lips.

Charles reached down between them and so did Erik. The feeling of two pairs of hands moving along the length of sensitive cocks in a pace that was barely controlled, was quickly working both of them towards release.

Erik leaned to Charles shoulder and Charles listened to his breathing turn shallower and the silent growling into moans that he tried to muffle into Charles’ skin. After a few sharp strokes, Erik fell quiet and his hand paused at the tip of his cock. Charles felt a few drops of warm cum hit his skin. Erik shuddered, then fell limp and heavy on top of Charles where he stayed only for a little while before he grunted and moved himself off of Charles and flopped onto the bed next to him. Charles moved his own hand at a languish pace along his cock a few more times before he felt himself tense and his cock swelled and he came.

They lay both still, breathing hard, waiting for their bodies to calm down. When Charles felt strong enough to try, he helped himself to his side and looked at the window and the quiet night world that opened in front of him. For the moment, the reality that lay outside the glass panes didn’t connect with the one where Charles existed. It would get light in a few hours and then he’d have to face a world of responsibilities and insecure futures, but here in the darkness Charles could lay on his bed with the crumbled sheets, damp of sweat, and the warm and very real presence of Erik just few inches of him. Erik moved, the bed creaking just slightly as he inched closer and then embraced Charles from behind. This time, when the morning came, Charles wouldn’t have to face the world alone.


End file.
